INS jokes
How do you f**k a sheep?
Put your d**k in it and face it off the cliff edge. It'll keep going backwards as you push forwards.
What has two legs, two arms, one dead and covered in red?
My ex-wife.
What do you call a Taliban in a bath bomb?
What do you call a wheelchair user in a fire?
Hot Wheels.
What happens when Stephen Hawking wakes up from his sleep?
"Log in."
I was in Russia at a stand-up comedy performance about someone making fun of Putin, but the jokes were awful. The execution was nice, though.
What do Rubik's cubes and melons have in common?
They have a history of separating colors.
Twinkle, twinkle, there’s a car Coming like a shooting star.
I will stand in the way. I will not be seen again. Are you happy I am dead? Now you made it to the end.
My dad died in 9/11. He was the best pilot.
What's the difference between a goat and a sex slave?
I don't have a slave in my sex dungeon.
What's the difference between a Porsche and 50 dead babies?
..... I don't have a Porsche in my garage.
Where did Sally go during the bombings? Everywhere!
Why didn’t the parents bother looking for her? Because she was in the front and back yard in small chunks! 😂
Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.
That made my father very mad, as we didn't have a fireplace.
A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, "Have you heard about the mad cow disease that's going around?"
"Yeah," the other cow says. "Makes me glad I'm a penguin."
Tell me morbid jokes in comments so I have some jokes for my friend.
Why can't orphans breathe? They are drowning in their own tears.
Why didn't Donald Trump pick up his phone when Jeffrey Epstein called him?
Because Donald killed Jeffrey Epstein in prison to hide the evidence.
Did you know that if you die you can still be a part of family game night!
All you have to do is have your family cremate you and put you in an hour glass, and the games that use hour glasses, well, you will be a part of family game night.
An orphan and a homeless man get into a fight, so he yells in a mirror.
What is the tallest building in the entire world? The library, because it has so many stories.