INS jokes
Are you a school? Because I want to shoot a bunch of kids in you.
Are you an orphanage?
Why?
Because I wanna put my kids in you.
What do lesbians and turtles have in common? They both choke on plastic.
Why is my sister so annoying? Because put your own thing in.
People complain we are overpopulated.
Well, then if we committed suicide, then why do they be sad? It's one less person to think about. Why complain about it when in the end we become sad people?
I can tell a joke :)
Twinkle, twinkle, there's a car Coming like a shooting star. I will stand in the way. I will not be seen again. Are you happy I am dead? Now you made it to the end.
If an orphan was Spiderman, which movie would he be in?
"No Way Home."
Why did little Timmy dip the cookie in water?
"Because his dad never brought the milk."
Little Johnny walked in on his mom in the shower and said, "What's that on your chest, Mom?" Mom said, "Those are my headlights." Johnny: "Oh. What's that in between your legs, Mom?" Mom: "Oh, that's my bush." Johnny: "Oh, OK." Next, he walked in on his dad in the shower. He said, "Dad, what's that in between your legs?" Dad: "Oh, that's my snake." Johnny: "Oh, OK." That night, little Johnny walks in on his parents going at it and said, "Mom, turn on his headlights, there's a snake going in your bush!"
I like my wine how I like my women: 7 years old, and locked up in my basement.
Roses are red, violets are blue, faces like yours belong in the zoo. Don't worry, I will be there too, not in the cage but laughing at you.
I got detention yesterday because I told the emo kid to "Hang in there."
We thought that my mother died in the best way possible, during her sleep.
But when we did an autopsy on her, we saw she actually died in the worst way possible. During the autopsy.
I fell in love with my computer because it helps me Excel.
Why can't an orphan be in a Scream movie?
It's always someone you know.
There are two kids sitting in a classroom: Lily and John. Lily sleeps in class every day.
The teacher asks Lily who made heaven and earth. John pokes her with a pencil. She shouts, "Jesus Christ Almighty!"
The teacher says, "That's right."
The teacher says the next day she asks the same question. John pokes her with a pencil. She shouts, "Jesus Christ Almighty!"
"That's right," the teacher says.
The next day she asks Lily what did Eve say to Adam after their 100th. John pokes her again. "If you stick that thing in me one more time, I'mma break it in half!" she shouts.
A girl walks up to her blind friend who she had not seen in a while and says: "Long time no see!"
When you tell the men in the suits you can see that the demons of your sins are watching you...
But they know you're blind.
What do Hiroshima and Herobrine have in common?
They're not heroes.
What do a circle and a sphere have in common?
They're round, and round is a shape.