INS jokes

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Penalty

  • I was in Afghanistan and I had been captured by the Taliban. I was going to get the death penalty.

    Suddenly a man came out of nowhere and offered to take the penalty. It was my idolo Penaldo. He missed the penalty. Now I will die. Shame on u Penaldo!

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  • Wife

  • I was digging in my backyard and found a chest of coins. I wanted to run inside and tell my wife. Then I remembered why I was digging in the backyard.

    Suicide

  • I asked to borrow a book from the library. It was titled "Suicide in Ten Easy Steps." The cunt just stood and said, "Cheeky bastard, you won't bring it back!"

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    Emo kid

  • How many Emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    None, they all sit in the dark and cry.

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    Fur

  • Why do animals in polar regions have thick fur? Because they don't have a barber! 🤣 🤣 🤣

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    Randy

  • Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her candy, but Jack was in shock with a mouth full of cock, 'cause Jill's real name was Randy.

    Mom

  • Yeah man, you watch Pornhub, and you have premium too, but at least I don't need Premium to see your mom in bed.

  • 1
  • Sex

  • What is the most expensive type of sex you will ever enjoy in your life? The type which will shorten your life by 5 to 10 years.

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    Robbery

  • Was busy robbing a house as quietly as possible and saw a woman catching me in the act, decided to get her in on the act and gave away my location from the noise.

    Rape

  • What do you call someone who hates rape jokes? An ugly feminist that couldn't get a cock in her mouth.

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  • Wine

  • Roses are red, violets are blue, Alexander Boris de Pfeffel had wine and cheese while your loved ones died in the ICU.