INS jokes

Sister

  • My sister is the weird dark one and emo of the family. I'm the bright happy one. Once in 3rd grade, I got a huge A on mine, and my sis got a D-.

    In the playground near a tree, we were sitting and playing. I said, "Hey, a C- is not that bad," and raised my hand up to give her a high five, but she left me hanging.

  • 1
  • Son

  • Son: Dad, if I told you I was gay, would you still love me?

    Dad: Don’t be silly son, you were an accident. I never loved you in the first place.

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  • Bomb

  • "You're the bomb."

    "No, you're the bomb."

    A compliment in the US, an argument in the Middle East.

    Department

  • The department of touch yourself is coming to the UK near you. I hope Scotland gets freedom. I can't wait to leave England and live in Scotland.

    Condom

  • Mom: Son, where are my condoms?

    Son: What are condoms?

    Dad: She puts it on me and the sandwich.

    Son: Wait, why did my girlfriend come over and take one?

    Dad: Um, I don't know, but go to bed.

    Son: But it's 2:46pm in the afternoon, bruh.

  • 1
  • Dad

  • Yo, dad is so stupid, he brought the milk after two years, and he said, "Oh, sorry son. I'm going back to the store. Bye."

    Makeup

  • Women be like I don't wear makeup for men.

    Then get mad when a man doesn't compliment her in her makeup!

    Orphan

  • Want to know what I do in my freetime?

    Punch an orphan, cuz what are they going to do, tell their mom?

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  • Rape

  • How do you get your appeal for rape charges accepted? Say you were expressing your desire for a woman, which is protected under the Constitution in freedom of expression.

  • 4
  • Grandpa

  • I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandpa, not screaming in terror like all the passengers on the plane he was flying.

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