INS jokes

Life

  • Anthony Blinken's life sucks, and getting COVID-19 positive is the only positive thing that ever happened in his entire life!

    Baby

  • What's the difference between a hundred decapitated babies and a Ferrari?

    I don't have a Ferrari in my garage :|

  • 1
  • Boy

  • Little boy asked his dad why he was born black.

    Father replied, "So the heat from the sun doesn't burn your skin."

    Then he asks, "Why is our hair all frizzy like fuse wire?"

    "So the coconuts when falling from the trees won't hurt you."

    "Then what are we doing living in Rochdale? (England)"

  • 1
  • Prank

  • As a son, I was starting to do pranks. I told my mom’s boyfriend that she cheated on him and she doesn’t want to be with him anymore, and I told him that my mom said that he had a small penis. He left my mom, and she was mad at me. I thought it was funny.

    Then I told my friend’s girlfriend that he cheated on her with another girl, and the girl told me that my friend had a small penis. He found out and wanted to confront me in my house. I wasn’t home. My friend told my mom what happened. Then my mom said the same thing happened to me. I came home one day, I saw my mom giving my friend a blow job. I asked what’s going on. My friend told me, "Your mom is my new girlfriend," and my mom said, "This is the penis of my dreams."

  • 1
  • Abortion

  • My gf told me she was pregnant, so I punched her in the stomach.

    She asked me why the hell I did that. I told her I wanted to let her know I’m pro abortion.

    Abortion

  • My gf told me she was pregnant. So I punched her in the stomach.

    She asked me "Why the hell did you do that?!?!?" "I wanted to let you know I'm pro abortion."

  • 1
  • Garbage

  • There are 3 men: an American, a French, and an Italian who have to take a trip and take the plane.

    The American puts his hand out the window and says: "We are in America, I touched the Statue of Liberty." The French says: "We are in France, I touched the Eiffel Tower." The Italian says: "We are in Italy, I touched the garbage!"

  • 1
  • Fly

  • A French, a German, and an Italian make a race to see who resists the most in a room full of flies. The French starts, and after a quarter of an hour, comes out.

    Then goes the German, who comes out after an hour. Finally, the Italian enters and comes out after five hours.

    The French: "But how did you do it?"

    The Italian: "I killed one."

    The German: "So what?"

    The Italian: "And then they were all busy for the funeral!"

  • 1
  • Moral

  • A teacher asked her young students to get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day, the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories. There were all the regular type of stuff.

    But then the teacher realized that only Janie was left. "Janie, do you have a story to share?" "Yes madam... My daddy told me a story about my Mom." "OK, let's hear" said the teacher.

    "My Mom was a Marine pilot in Operation Desert Storm in Iraq and her plane got hit." "She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife." "She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops." "She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands."

    Pin drop silence in the class!

    "Good Heavens" said the horrified teacher "What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story?"

    "Stay away from Mummy when she's drunk...!!!!"

  • 1
  • Ocean

  • In 1492 Christopher Columbus sailed the ocean blue.

    He sat on a rock, tickled his cock, until it turned red, white, and blue!

  • 1