INS jokes
What gun can’t you find in Africa?
A water gun.
Rape victim: I want to die.
Man: Hang in there.
Rape victim: That's what I'll do, I'll hang myself.
I saw a kid in the yard and I asked where are your parents.
Then I got fired from the orphanage.
100% of blind people in Africa can't see. Together, we can stop this.
Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes.
Out of a total population of 1.3 billion, no one in Africa actually speaks "African."
In Africa, it doesn't matter if you're gay, straight, or bisexual.
At the end of the day, it's night.
When a rocketship went into space, seven astronauts went into space. That's why it's called NASA.
My uncle was a priest.
He had a two-inch penis, but when it was in my ass, it felt like a torpedo.
Women need to be in the kitchen.
An Asian man walks into a bar in Australia. The bartender says to him “why are you here? Get back in that wing wong country.”
The Asian man says “I’m here traveling and now I’m gonna attack you with my 40 gallons of fried rice I’ve had in my pocket since wa dinowar wages. #wingwong”
My friend and I got into a fight. I looked straight forward and said, "Look me in my eyes!"
Person: "Sorry to bother you, but what's the quickest way to get to the hospital?"
Stranger: "Oh, just go stand in the middle of the road!"
How do you start a rave in Ethiopia?
You put food on the ceiling and they start jumping.
When is the best time to punch a midget in the face?
When he’s standing next to your girlfriend and says your hair smells nice.
What do Nemo and my dad have in common?
They both can't be found.
Why don't a gun and an orphan have anything in common? The gun is actually useful.
Why do orphans not build houses in Minecraft? Because they want it to be realistic.
Why do orphans like emos?
Reverse "emo" and put an "h" in the beginning.
Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning, and his dad was making a lot of mistakes. Suddenly, his dad screams, "Bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant, and his dad replied, "Aunts and uncles." Oh. Next thing he hears is, "Dicks and pussies!" Johnny asks, "What's that mean?" To which his dad replied, "Uh, coats and hats." Oh. Next thing he knows, he sees his dad jumping around the bathroom yelling, "Fucking, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" "What does that mean, dad?" And his dad yells, "Cut, Johnny, it means cut!!!" Oh. Next week is Thanksgiving, and the doorbell rings, and Johnny answers it and says, "Hey, bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, dad's in the kitchen fucking the turkey."