INS jokes
Why do teenage girls hang out in odd-numbered groups?
Because they can't even.
You know how 6 was afraid of 7 because 7 8 9?
Well, how do you think 10 feels being in the middle of 9 11?
Q. What do Canadian women and Canadian beer have in common? A. They're both stronger than they look.
What’s one good thing about pedophiles?
They drive slow in school zones.
What do a plastic bag and Jeffery Epstein have in common?
They're both dangerous to children.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite movie?
The Boy in the Plastic Bubble? Why? The boy who was in the bubble.
The girl asks her boyfriend, "Are you jealous of my heart?"
He says, "No."
She says, "Because it's pumping in me and you're not."
Why are people born in December, January, and February easy to get along with?
They're cool and chill.
Harder than a diamond in an ice storm.
When a baby was born to a slave, did the slave owners hang a "Bred in Captivity" sign above the crib?
So, I was in the woods the other day raping this woman when she screamed, 'Please! Think of my children!' I said, 'Ooo, you kinky bitch.'
What do Spider-Man and suicidal people have in common?
They both hang.
Why do orphans have 363 days in a year?
Because they have no Father's or Mother's days.
Did you hear about the guy who died by lethal injection and writhed on the stretcher for 20 minutes?
I guess it really IS all in the execution.
What does a blowjob and a bonus check have in common?
Someone’s always willing to blow your bonus.
The warden gave them a choice of three ways to die: to be shot, to be hung, or to be injected with the AIDS virus for a slow death.
So the German said, "Shoot me right in the head." Boom, he was dead instantly.
Then the Italian said, "Just hang me." Snap, he was dead.
Then the Irishman said, "Give me some of that AIDS stuff." They gave him the shot, and the Irishman fell down laughing. The guards looked at each other and wondered what was wrong with this guy.
Then the Irishman said, "Give me another one of those shots," so the guards did. Now he was laughing so hard, tears rolled from his eyes and he doubled over.
Finally, the warden said, "What is wrong with you?"
The Irishman replied, "You guys are so stupid... I'm wearing a condom!"
What did the mad penis say to the vagina? “Don’t make me come in there!”
A man wakes up and asks his wife, “Are you okay? You were cursing me all night in your sleep.” The wife replies, “Who says I was sleeping?”
In Jr. high, we all had to do a report on euthanasia. I misunderstood and wrote a report on how I'd really like a Korean girlfriend.
It's often said that people peaked in high school.
I think Trump peaked in kindergarten.