INS jokes
The first thing a man looks at in a woman, is her heart.
The fact that her breasts block the view is not her fault.
At the bar last night, a woman got her nipple pierced right in front of me.
On a related note, I suck at darts.
Are you interested in it?
More than two boot branches.
Is it so? Do people get freedom?
Omega was born with Mammosbum in Mammam.
My principal called my mom at school and said, "You should teach your son well." After coming back home, at first she taught me sex!
Looking in the mirror, I don’t need a therapist, god damn, I wanna be a terrorist.
How many East Asians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Tu.
Which is Ronaldo's favorite son, Matteo or Cristiano Junior?
Neither. His favorite is San Marino, perfect for stat-padding with tap-ins and penalties!
What do you call a Portuguese who commits a crime in Las Vegas?
Consensual Rapper 7.
What do you call a camel stranded in the desert of Arabia?
A Shawarmano Cameldo!
An ICE agent tells a Mexican that he can get his green card if he can use green, pink, and yellow correctly in a sentence. The Mexican thinks for a minute and says, "My phone goes green, green, and I pink it up and say yellow."
Roses are red, eggs come in a dozen, do I need to revive Hitler to teach you how to use a goddamn oven?
What does the + sign stand for in LGBTQ+?
It’s the premium version of gay.
There hasn’t been 3 months of peace in this country since 2019. Jesus, take the wheel.
What do you call someone in a wheelchair during a California fire?
A steamed vegetable.
Sippin' on promethazine With lean, I fell in love.
I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup.
Little Sally comes home from school one day and says to her mom, "Mommy, mommy, you won’t believe it! Little Johnny just pulled out his PP in class." The mother responded, "Well, what did it look like?" Sally said, "It looks like a peanut." The mother said, "Oh, it was small." "No, it was salty," said Sally.
Q: What's the difference between a nun and a woman in a bathtub?
A: One has hope in her soul and one has soap in her hole.
A Sunday school teacher asked her children on the way to service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."
In a Catholic school cafeteria, a nun places a note in front of a pile of apples, "Only take one. God is watching." Further down the line is a pile of cookies. A little boy makes his own note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."