INS jokes
My dog stepped on a bee, My child spilt my tea, I drank my hot tea, I broke my bloody knee, Now I'm lying in agony, And I'm devastated with no glee.
(Again, credits to my really funny friend)
What is Gaten Matarazzo's favorite song?
"Dust in the Wind."
What do the Twin Towers and school have in common?
People jumped off a building to escape it.
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common? They were only two.
Why don't Asian kids believe in Santa Claus?
Because they're the ones who made the toys.
I once fought with a man in a wheelchair.
He couldn't stand a chance.
The cold winter night, there was a cabin in the woods. The cabin housed 3 men. The men were gay but they did not know.
Fili: "Fili." Kili: "And Kili." Fili and Kili: "At your service." Kili: "You must be Mr. Baggins." Bilbo: "No! You can’t come in, you’ve come to the wrong house." Kili: "What?! Has it been canceled?" Fili: "No one told us." Bilbo: "Can...! No, nothing’s been canceled." Kili: "That’s a relief." Fili: "Careful with these, I just had them sharpened." Kili: "It’s nice, this place. Did you do it yourself?" Bilbo: "Uh...no, it’s been in the family for years. That’s my mother’s glory box, can you please not do that?" Dwalin: "Fili, Kili, come on, give us a hand." Kili: "Mr. Dwalin." Balin: "Let’s shove this in the hole, or otherwise we’ll never get everyone in." Bilbo: "Ev...everyone?! How many more are there? Oh, no! No, no. There’s nobody home! Go away, and bother somebody else! There’s far too many dwarves in my dining room as it is. If...if this is some blockhead’s idea of a joke, I can only say, it is in very poor taste!" One of the Dwarves: "Get off, you big lump!"
Then the men only had one seat they had in the cabin. It was a bar seat. they were able to flip it upside down and fit all of them on it.
So I became a teacher in a school for disabled children.
A kid wanted to ask me a question, so I told him to stand while he address me. 💀
What are three things the Twin Towers have in common with my dad? They are big, sexy, and smashed your mom.
F in orphan means family.
I was doing a magic show. I tried to make a bunny disappear, but it didn’t work.
I walked outside in shame. I looked up and realised the towers had disappeared!!!!
Roses are red, violets are violet,
My dad died in 9/11, he was a great pilot!
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair and said, "Hot Wheels!"
I'm dead serious about Kobe: Kobe in heaven...
Hey, you know what I told the kid in a wheelchair?
I told him to be a stand-up comedian!
Why was 10 scared because it was in the middle of 9/11?
The F in orphans stands for family...
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire and said, "Hot Wheels!"
Can we stop talking about 9/11? I lost my dad in it.
He was a great pilot.
Why is 10 so scared? Because he is right in the middle of 9/11.