INS jokes
John Kreese's forehead broke when silver hit 'em in the forehead.
What do a relationship and suicidal thought have in common? They’ll both end soon.
There was a kid in my class who said my face looked like a physical reaction (we were learning about that stuff at the time), so I said I made a chemical reaction with his mom last night.
There was a kid in my class who said my face looked like a physical reaction (we were learning about that stuff at the time), so I said I made a chemical reaction with his mom last night.
Where did little billy go when he was stuck in a minefield... everywhere.
That joke was pretty dark, but it got pretty light for a second.
Why was ten scared?
It was in the middle of 9/11.
What do you call the space in between Kim Kardashian's breasts?
Silicon Valley.
So, I just got kicked out of the orphanage library for putting a book about parents in the fiction section.
An orphan boy at my school did really bad in a test and started crying.
I said, “Don’t worry, your parents won’t say anything.”
Best way to trick your friends:
A brick falls out of a plane.
How do you put an elephant in the fridge? Open the door, put him in, and close the door.
How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? Open the door, take the poor elephant out, put the giraffe in, and close the door.
The animal kingdom is throwing a party, all the animals are there except for one, who? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge.
Sally needs to cross the river that is known to be filled with deadly crocodiles, but she crossed safely, how? Because the crocodiles are at the party, but Sally still dies after crossing the river, how? Because she was hit by the flying brick.
Customer: "Can I get this in a smaller size and a different color?"
Employee: "Ma'am, this is an adoption agency, you can't do that here!"
You might think that tigers or lions are the best jumpers, but in my opinion, it's emos, because some of them are still in the air.
What do parents and dark humor have in common? Not everyone gets them.
Why do orphans only have 363 days in the year?
Because they don’t have a Mother's nor Father’s Day.
What do a prostitute and peanut butter have in common?
They both spread for bread.
Once when I was 6, I had a massive crush on a girl in my grade. She liked me too, and we kissed under a tree.
Next day, same spot, but now she's pregnant. That stupid dad stole my girl!
What do dark humor and food have in common?
Some get it, some don't.
Orphans are banned in Alabama.
My friend was feeling low today, so I went up to her and said, "You know, I would hang in there if I was you, swaying through life." I don't think she likes me now.
Jimmy watched in horror as Alex told the suicidal man to do a flip.