INS jokes
You might think that tigers or lions are the best jumpers, but in my opinion, it's emos, because some of them are still in the air.
What do parents and dark humor have in common? Not everyone gets them.
Why do orphans only have 363 days in the year?
Because they don’t have a Mother's nor Father’s Day.
What do a prostitute and peanut butter have in common?
They both spread for bread.
Once when I was 6, I had a massive crush on a girl in my grade. She liked me too, and we kissed under a tree.
Next day, same spot, but now she's pregnant. That stupid dad stole my girl!
What do dark humor and food have in common?
Some get it, some don't.
Orphans are banned in Alabama.
My friend was feeling low today, so I went up to her and said, "You know, I would hang in there if I was you, swaying through life." I don't think she likes me now.
Jimmy watched in horror as Alex told the suicidal man to do a flip.
Friend: What are you doing?
Me: Putting peanut butter on my balls.
Friend hears in the distance, "Orphans, I have food for you!"
God, those orphans were putting up such a fight, I had to lock 'em in the basement.
What do parents and dark humor have in common? Some get it, and some don't.
Why can't Jesus walk on water anymore?
Because he has holes in his feet.
Q: What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in the bathtub?
A: Throw in some laundry.
A limbless man sat on the side of a lake every day. He had no hands or legs.
One day he was crying when a woman was walking by and saw that he was upset, so she asked if he was okay. He replied, "No."
The woman said, "Well, what's wrong?"
The limbless man said, "I've never been hugged by anyone ever."
So the woman, out of kindness, hugged the man. "Are you okay now?" she asked.
"No," the man replied. So again the woman asked him what was wrong. He answered, "I've never been kissed before."
The woman eagerly gave him a peck on the lips and asked, "Are you okay now?"
The man shook his head sadly. The woman asked him what was wrong for the third time. The man said, "I've never been fucked."
The woman looked at him, picks him up, throws him in the lake, and says, "Now you are!"
Four gay guys are sitting in a Jacuzzi when all of a sudden, a condom starts floating. One of the gay guys turns around and asks, "Okay, who farted?"
Why don't Chinese people believe in Santa? Cause they make the toys.
Who comes when an orphan gets married? They are allowed back in family restaurants, but when I go in alone, I'm not allowed. I have some parents, for God's sake!
I hope you get raped by a chimp in the forest
What do genders and the Twin Towers have in common?
There used to be two, but now it's a touchy subject.