INS jokes
what's the difference between morbid humor & dark humor?
dark humor fits 10 people in 1 container.
morbid humor fits 1 person on ten containers.
I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, and they got excited and asked if I could drive a B-52.
My parents were concerned when I said I like to bleed, but at least I cut my risk of cancer and stroke in half.
I have a green ball in one hand and one in the other. What am I holding?
Shrek's dick.
I fell into a water bed with super soil. Next thing I'm in a flower bed.
"Dream, yo mama so ugly, when she went in the bathtub, the water jumped out!"
We all know yo homie bout to hop in a fight when:
1. He staring mighty hard at y'all.
2. When your friend know you gon get your ass beat.
3. When your friend say he not gon jump in (you know he lying).
Why is America so bad at Clash Royale? Because they lost 2 towers.
When you tell an orphan, "I did your mom in your home," and they start crying.
Me: You f&*k up.
The class: Oh sh!&
Ernie and Burt were camping in the woods, when they woke up Burt asked Ernie "how did you sleep?" Ernie replied with "I slept amazing! I had a great dream that I was in a magic candy world and was sucking the most tastiest lollipop I'd ever tasted in my life."
Burt replied with "Good to hear, I slept amazing too. I had a dream that I was in heaven surrounded by angels, and one of them was giving me a blow job."
In my science class we were watching a video, and for no reason at all, it started talking about Black Lives Matter, and my friend leaned over and whispered, “White lives matter more!”
Next time you see a Brit, go up to them and say:
"Imagine losing a 'Tea Party in Boston.'"
I asked my friend how long I can be in the sky. He said if you are emo, then forever.
What do you call a baby in a blender? A baby blender!
I went to visit my childhood home. I asked the owners if I could come in for some nostalgic memories. They said no and slammed the door on me. My parents are so mean.
The average person in 2023 is less straight than the lines my 5th-grade P.E. teacher walked in college.
What do you call a sped kid in a wheelchair that caught on fire?
Hot Wheels.
So, I was in the bathroom at school washing up, and this girl walked out of the stall and she was like, "Hey, can you make me laugh? I have been having a pretty bad day." And I was like, "Sure." I was like, "Come here." So she came over to me. I was like, "Girl, look at yourself in the mirror." And she started laughing so hard, and she said, "I'm so ugly."
At school, this gurl was like, "You're ugly!" And I'm like, "Gurl, your mirror cracks the moment you step in front of it."
What's worse than a baby in a dumpster?
A baby in two dumpsters.