INS jokes
In memory of Michael Jackson, Starbucks and various other establishments are introducing the Jackson tea. It's 50 year old water, with a 7 year old tea bag.
My ex wanted to humiliate me in front of her friends, so she said I was useless in bed.
Should have seen her face when they all disagreed.
I was digging a hole in my garden, then I found a treasure chest. I was so happy. I went to tell my wife, but then I remembered why I was digging a hole.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they just sit in the dark and cry.
A missionary went to visit an orphanage in Thailand. After looking around, he asked the manager, "Why do these kids have numbers instead of names on their shirts? And why are some of them the same?"
The manager smiled and said, "Those are price tags."
My dad died in 9/11. He was a good pilot.
Your hairline goes so far back that even God said, "I learned about it in my days."
- The emo went to give the tree a high five, but the emo was left hanging.
- How did the gay person die? Homicide.
- Why did the emo get kicked out of the amusement park? He was cutting in line.
- When does a joke turn into a dad joke? When it leaves and never comes back.
- I cried when my dad chopped onions. Onions was such a good dog.
- I have happy memories building sandcastles with my dad, until my mom took his urn away.
- How is the person over there different from cancer? His dad didn't beat cancer.
My dad died in 9/11. At least he did what he loves best: flying planes.
When you name yourself "Twin Towers" and the terrorist in Kahoot.
Twin Towers are on fire.
The terrorist has a streak of two.
Can a guy in a wheelchair be a stand-up comedian?
Why was 10 scared?
Because he was in-between 9-11.
I was a sit-down comedian, then I tried to stand up. I fell.
I wished I stayed in the wheelchair.
Why can't an orphan see their parents? Because there is mayo in his dick hole.
We were watching a 9/11 documentary in class and I said, "Man, they are really bad at Jenga!"
Why was 10 scared? Because he was in-between 9/11.
What do you call a kid in a hot tub?
Vegetable soup.
What do you call a stripper in a wheelchair?
Hot wheels.
How did Santa feel when he got stuck in the chimney?
Claus-trophobic.
6 was afraid of 7 because 7 ate 9, but why was 10 scared?
Because 10 was in 9/11.