INS jokes
Want to hear a joke? Just look in the mirror!
What's the quickest way to go to the hospital? Just stand in the middle of a busy road.
You were supposed to be born in the tree.
The sticks were your siblings.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair on fire?
Hot Wheels.
What does Kobe now have in common with his helicopter?
They both have torn rotators.
Why do most guns in America have an average mag/clip size of only 30?
Because that's the average class size in America.
Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he gets a hole in one.
Why did the pumpkin man not go to the party? He had his hand stuck in a treasure chest.
What does the "f" in "orphan" stand for? Family, but there's no "f".
What do you call an autistic kid going down the stairs in a wheelchair?
Hot Wheels!
I had a very long dream that I was eating the most juiciest, tastiest meal I'd ever eaten in my life. Then when I woke up, my wife was gone.
One day Billy, Bob, and Doo Da went fishing in a small boat. None of them could swim, and they had no life jackets.
Doo Da suddenly started yelling, "I got one boys!" as he started trying to reel the fish in. It was way too large for him to get onto the boat, and he fell into the water. The fish had a nice meal that night. Billy and Bob were in shock but knew they had to tell Mrs. Doo Da.
Upon arriving at her house, they did rock, paper, scissors on who had to tell her the news. Bob lost. He slowly rang the doorbell, and Mrs. Doo Da answered. "U-uhm.. we...Doo D-Da..f-fish..." Bob stuttered, then he screamed and ran off. Billy went to go retrieve his friend. Billy had a nice little talk with him and slapped him across the face to get him to just say what happened. Soon, the two men returned to Mrs. Doo Da's house and rang the doorbell again. She opened the door and looked at the two men and asked, "I've been trying to call Doo Da, and he hasn't answered, is he ok?" Bob took a deep breath and took a step forward with a smile on his face. He sang, "We went fishing, guess who died, Doo Da, Doo Da. He smiled and he said good bye, we mourn Doo Da today."
What do you call a dog in China?
E10
1) What was Techno's reaction when he died?
2) Where did all the orphans go?
PS: In case you don't get it, it's a pedophile joke, cuz he is one!
What does Michael Jackson and an ant have in common? They are both innocent.
In memory of Michael Jackson, various ice cream companies are introducing the Jackson Chocolate ice cream. It is either 50 year old cream mixed in with 10 year old nuts, or 7 year old vanilla ice cream with 50 year old chocolate drizzled on 4 year old tiny nuts.
Why do orphans dip their cookies in water?
Because their dad never came back with milk. Ohhhhhhhh!
How do you beat Hellen Keller in musical chairs?
You move the chairs.
Your hairline goes so far back, we learned about it in history class.
Q: What do you call a dog that stepped in its own shit?
A: I don't know.