INS jokes
Joe: What do the Leafs and the Titanic have in common?
Ben: I don't know.
Joe: They both look good until they hit the ice.
Tell the person next to you to spell "me." When they do, say, "You forgot the D." They should respond with, "There is no D in ME." You say, "Not yet." If this does not go as planned, well, then you are fucked for life.
Hey Siri, where is my dad?
Your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas.
HAH, jokes on you! My dad’s in the kitchen!
Your mom’s husband is in the kitchen, your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas.
...WhAT-
What do my mom and a basketball have in common?
My mom's tits and ass are bouncy, just like a basketball.
You are playing as Ukraine in Military Tycoon, and then someone kills you. You see who killed you in nuke revenge, and it says "Putinmoserfucer2342."
What do Ben 10 and a disabled kid have in common? They both slap their wrist.
1, 2, I have a gun.
3, 4, I am in a school.
5, 6, Everyone on the ground!
What's the difference in Japanese Kamikaze and 9/11?
There is none, they both go up in flames.
The reason why in the US their emergency number is 911 is because of my uncle Mohamed, RIP, best pilot ever.
"I've only been ripped off twice in my life. The first time was when I ordered three kebabs and they only delivered two. The second time was when we signed Cristiano Ronaldo."
-Al Nassr owner
Me: I found a group of furries in the woods.
Voice in back: Well, it looks like we're going huntin'.
Why do orphans go to the ancient pyramids for vacation?
In hope to find a mummy.
Had an amazing night with this girl, woke up, and it was my aunt. Now I’m in love.
I'm pretty sure that 9/11 was the biggest game of Jenga ever recorded in history.
One day, a priest and a nun went to play golf together.
In the first shot, the priest missed his shot and said, "Fuck, I missed it!"
The nun replied, "Hey, you should not curse."
In the second shot, the priest missed his shot again and said, "Fuck, I missed again!"
The nun replied, "Hey, stop swearing, or else God will punish you."
In the next shot, the priest missed once again. He shouted, "Fuck this, this game is bullshit!"
The nun replied, "Enough! God is definitely going to punish you anytime now."
Suddenly, a thunderbolt struck the nun and killed her. The clouds separated from the sky, and there was a voice in the sky saying, "Oh, fuck, I missed!"
I just got my COVID vaccine, and this lady said, "You have no idea what you put in your body." I said, "Yet you are eating chorizo."
Where is the building I was in, and why is there a plane?
Are you a playground? Because I want to put my kids in you.
My neighbor has been mad at his wife for sunbathing nude. I personally am on the fence.
Why is England's team unfair in chess?
Because 2 rooks = 10 and a queen = 9.