INS jokes
Nazis have marched in Melbourne. Are you sure Eric Clapton and Carrie Underwood are not touring in Australia?
A boy in nursery asked a girl out. She ran away crying in fear, so he just went back to teaching.
Kids in wheelchairs can't stand up for themselves if there's a bully.
Spongebob and Jacko have one thing in common.
They both routinely place meat in small buns.
A magician walks up to a girl and asks her to feel the rabbit in the magician's hat.
The magician asks the girl to rub the rabbit. The girl notices the rabbit sticks up and drools; the hat was covering the hips.
How do you know all suicide bombers self-identify as being old?
They are all boomers in the end.
When I was in middle school, I was kidnapped by a terrorist organization.
Al-gebra.
"Hey, today was great!"
"What happened?"
"I ran into my ex today."
"What's so great about that?"
"I was in my car!"
Flex tape can fix a sawed-in-half boat. Then how the f*** can it not fix the Titanic when it broke in half? Tell me!
The cemetery is so crowded, people are just dying to get in.
Mom, am I adopted?
What? No. "In head" No, dah, bitch.
What's the difference between a flower and an orphan?
One is allowed in the house.
What do white people and fences have in common? They both get jumped by Mexicans.
An orphan was running down the road. A car pulled up and said, "Get in." So the orphan got in and said, "Where are we going?" The kidnapper said, "I'm taking you to my house." The orphan replied, "OML, ARE YOU ADOPTING ME!?"
A male unexploded landmine was in love with a female unexploded landmine, and he said to her...
"Hey, baby, we should bang sometime!"
I got kicked out of the library because I put the woman's right book in the non-fiction section.
You don't want to know why it takes so long to put a dead woman in a mass-produced coffin in a pre-buried grave dug by machinery that is then filled by mourners.
What do rocks and girls have in common?
The flat ones get skipped.
Men should provide their disobedient daughters with their own "milk" instead of letting them use the mother. That will teach those bitches some respect for men. It may even help them get laid later on in life.
Your forehead is so big your mum spent an extra hour in the birth delivery room.