INS jokes
What's black and white and can't turn around in a corridor?
A nun with a javelin through her neck.
Why do orphans do so well in life?
When people told them "Go big or go home," they only had one option.
What do orphans and apples not have in common... The apples get picked up.
I had to go to the doctor for a prostate exam. When he stuck it in, I started to squirm, so he held onto my shoulder.
I thought it was going well, until he grabbed my other shoulder as well.
What do children with cancer and Russian soldiers have in common? Their life doesn't last long.
You know what’s traumatizing?
Your mom breastfeeding in front of you.
Help!
Some people say I like heights; others say I'm a daredevil.
In reality, I like killing myself.
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Half of it. 🐛
Horrible Jokes, Part One- A friend of mine got into photographing salmon in different clothing. He said he liked shooting fish in apparel.
What do pears and emo kids have in common?
They both be hanging.
Why was 10 scared?
Because it was in the middle of 9/11.
What do you call a group of cops having a sleep over?
Pigs in a blanket.
So, this guy, right? He has been through the worst shit in his life. He lost his house, his car, his wife, his kids, everything except his dog.
About 2 weeks after he loses everything, he goes to apply for a job. He attends work for the first 2 weeks to get his first paycheck and then calls in sick for about a month. He comes back to his boss' office after the month is over and his boss questions him. The man claims, "Sir, I was blowing chunks." "What do you mean by 'blowing chunks'?" says the boss. The man replies with, "Chunks is the name of my dog..."
This man has been through all kinda shit in his life. So one day, he finally looks at himself in the mirror and says, "If another person looks at me again, I'm going to kill myself." He looks at himself and no one ever heard from him again.
Did you know the Titanic sank in water?
Titanic 1, Africa 0.
Q: Why was the 4 year old anti-vaxer crying?
A: He was in a mid-life crisis.
Q: What do you call a black prostitute in space?
A: The Blackhole.
What do Spider-Man and orphans have in common?
There’s no way home.
In Boston we say,
"Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high, unzipped his fly and said ‘Hey Jill, you wanna?’ Jill said yes, unzipped her dress, and then they had a ‘daughta’" 🤣
Why shouldn't orphans get a phone?
They would get stuck in an app because they can't find the home button.