INS jokes
What does B.I.B.L.E stand for?
Bullshit In Book Lacking Evidence.
How do you surprise a blind kid?
Put a plunger in the toilet.
Me: I been up all night, no sleep--
The lie detector I didn’t know I had: Lie.
Me: stfu! I’m just singing!
Lie detector: You literally listen to music all the time... you almost don’t even sleep!
Me: THEN WHY THE FUCK DID TOU SAY IT’S A LIE, WHEN I SAID I DIDN’T SLEEP?!
Lie detector: It’s 3:00 AM in 8 minutes, you usually close your eyes to sleep when it’s 5:00 AM... You get waken up at 7:00 AM... you only sleep two hours......
Why was 10 scared?
Because it was in the middle of 9 and 11.
Wait till the end.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, 8, 9.
But why was 10 scared? Because it was in the middle of 9/11!
The tables in my class are straight, but I can’t say the same thing for your hairline.
Pop in the toilet.
What do you call two AI systems that are in love with each other? Member of chat LGBT.
What do the initials BIBLE stand for?
"Bullshit In Book Lacking Evidence."
What are the odds of you being in a relationship that is going on in the next few months?
What makes you guys high?
I get high when I have a dead fish in my lunchbox.
Random words in my keyboard:
The most annoying part of this game has always been that the players don’t know how much time it takes to get to the table before you start playing them.
What do you call a disabled person in a sauna?
Steamed veggies!
Why is Afghanistan good at chess? They take the rooks out fast.
What is the biggest fear of an American soldier taking a piss in a bush during the Vietnam war? His manhood will be chopped off.
The doctor told me I'm color blind...
Me: That's out of the purple!
What does the Bartles and Jaymes wine cooler television ad have in common with ministers who are white Christian nationalists?
They both thank you for your financial support.
Your hairline is so far back that when your teacher puts you in the front of the class, your hairline is quite in the back.
What do me and a blind person have in common after I look at Alfie's mum?
We're both blind.
I still can’t forget that tiny little dead fish in my blue lunchbox.
Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth, then it's a soap opera.