INS jokes
A: What do you call a sophisticated American? B: Canadian.
A: Why aren't there any Mexicans in Canada? B: They can't run that far.
«A: Что вы называете искушенным американцем? Б: Канадец.
A: Почему в Канаде нет ни одного мексиканца? Б: Они не могут убежать так далеко».
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
RCXD.
Today I was at PE, and I saw a kid in a wheelchair. I threw a basketball at him, and I yelled, "Rocket League!"
Girl: I’m so in love with you!
Boy: Me too. I think you’re abcdefghijk: aesthetic, beautiful, cool, determined, elegant, famous, hot.
Girl: What’s the ijk?
Boy: I’m just kidding.
Why couldn't Jesus have been born in Florida?
Answer: They wouldn't be able to find "Three Wise Men" or a virgin!
Why don’t orphans live in villages?
Because they will get abandoned.
What do a mole and an eagle have in common?
They live underground, except for the eagle. Lol.
Stephen Hawking is just in a role play. He died to a crash in Minecraft.
Why is 10 scared?
Because it is in the huddle of 9/11.
If you're in Alabama, family reunions are basically speed dating events.
Your forehead is so big, the earth split in half!
Why were the World Trade Center so mad? Because they ordered 3 pizzas, but 2 came in plane and 1 went to the wrong address.
My uncle died in 9/11. He was a pilot.
Why should a feminist never be allowed to join the UAW United Auto Workers?
Because the only thing that a feminist will do in the UAW United Auto Workers, is eat pussy all day inside the women's restroom and she will only pay her membership dues, if she is allowed to eat pussy all day inside the women's restroom.
I bought my son a trampoline for his birthday, the ungrateful fucker just sat in his wheelchair and cried.
What does a sex offender that is a lesbian have in common with a sex offender that is a feminist?
They only performed cunnilingus on girls under 18 years old.
Why should a feminist never join the United Auto Workers, UAW?
Because the only thing that a feminist would do in the United Auto Workers, UAW is lick pussy all day in the woman's restroom.
I told the ugly friend in my friend group that when they daydream, they shouldn't picture themselves because it will just ruin it.
My dad died in 9/11, he was a great pilot.
Why did 10 have PTSD?
Because he was in the middle of 9/11.