INS jokes

What did they find in Paul Walker's glovebox?

His head and shoulders.

Your hairline is so far back, it was in a different time zone on a flight with you.

I work in a garage, and yesterday a gay person came up to me and said, "Why won't my car go straight?"

Yo mama so fat that she walked in front of the TV, and I missed a whole episode of iCarly.

America: Saying, "I beg your pardon" in British English is like saying; "What did you say to me you orphaned big forehead shitty ass small dick bitch?"

UK: You Americans are so fucking rude.

America: Oh, I'm SoRrY mIsTeR fAnCy PaNts 👖

I just overheard this but:

How do you make a party in space?

You planet.

One day I was with my mom and we had no money on the credit card, and we live far, and my mom was hungry.

A guy and his friend had a car and asked us if we were lost. We said no, we have no ride, no money, and my mom is hungry. So the guy would take us for a blowjob each, so I was driving the car and my mom gave both guys a blowjob. We had to get out of the car to look for something, then the two guys went in the car and told us we got bad news and good news. I asked what the bad news was. They said that they're not taking us home, so I asked what the good news was. They told me that they fed my mom and drove off. I guess where they left us wasn't a long walk and my mom wasn't hungry anymore.

Once Roblox popped up in my server, be like, "Roblox, what are you doing?"

Me: "What the heck?" Me: "How did I get in your server?"

Roblox: "You've been banned for just cheating!"

What do you call a person in a wheelchair that lives in Africa?

Dry Vegetable.

what do baby’s and grenades have in common?

They both are silent but then when thrown at someone make a loud noise

There's a Mexican, Brazilian, and Cuban in a S60. Who's driving?

Today when I looked in the mirror, I stopped and simply said: "It's ok, what's inside matters the most, right?"

What do you do when you see a lady in a wheelchair?

You grab a stick and put it through the wheelchair and call her nunchucks.

The inspiration for Chuck Norris to be in Walker, Texas Ranger is by decoding each of the letters in the title.

Walker, Texas Ranger = Wrangler, Karate, Sex!

What was the most useful tool in the 17th century?

Slaves.

How do you call an iPhone cover in Germany?

An apple bag. 😜

Why You should never poop on the floor in an Apple Store?

Because they don't have Windows. 🤢 🤣

Roses are red, violets are blue, a face like yours belongs in a place worse than a zoo.

"Officer, don’t arrest me, she said she was 5 in dog years!"

They should bring Michael Jackson back from the dead so he can star in the Peter Pan horror movie.