INS jokes
What does a kid who has autism and reading have in common?
Absolutely nothing.
Dad: "Honey, I'll be right back. I need to get some papers."
Me: "Okay." *Falls asleep.*
*Wakes up in an adoption center.*
Damn, it was those kind of papers.
Rape, 9/11, abortion, orphan, murder, dead, kill, drugs.
What makes all these categories so familiar? Either you've experienced them, or made them up in your backstory.
Ever wondered how Jesus got rid of the cross that killed him?
Burned it in a hellish fire to make some firewood.
You got no lotion to masturbate, then you remember there's some leftover porridge in the fridge. 😌🤎😇
What did the cheese say to itself in the mirror?
"Halloumi, who's the tastiest of them all?"
My dad died in 9/11.
He was the best pilot I ever knew.
Hey guys! Want to know something cool? Google Jesus' language. It's Aramaic.
Next, google "God in Aramaic". See the results for yourself. <3
What's the definition of suspicious?...
A nun doing sit-ups in a cucumber field. 💀
Yo mama is so old that when she was in history class as a kid, all they learned about was themselves!
Your hair goes so far back in time, even cavemen saw it!
Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. It's not dead, just afraid to move.
Chuck Norris heard that nothing in the world could kill him.
So he tracked down nothing in the world and killed it.
A man goes into the streets of Moscow and yells, “I am tired of this guy with a silly mustache and stupid rules being a leader!”
A soldier heard him, so he goes and catches him. Later, he brings the man to Stalin. The soldier says to Stalin what happened and Stalin asks the man, “Who were you thinking about when you yelled in the streets?”
The man responds, “Of course, I was thinking about Hitler!”
Stalin lets him go, but then he stops the soldier and says, “Who were YOU thinking about?”
What do babies and explosives have in common?
They both make a noise when you throw them.
Why is hangman always done in black ink?
To make it more realistic.
In 1941, Hans, a young German boy, was listening to the radio.
Over the radio, Hitler announced that Germany was now going to war with the United States.
"Father, where is the United States?" Hans asked.
His father pointed at a map of North America.
"Aren’t we currently at war with Russia? Where might that be?" he questioned his father.
The man pointed towards the Soviet Union.
"And I’m told we’re also at war with the British Empire. Where is that?"
The father pointed out all of the territories owned by the British.
"Where is Germany again, Father?"
He pointed to their home country in Central Europe.
Hans pondered this information for a second. "One last question, Father."
"Yes?"
"Has Hitler seen this map?"
I read the joke "what we breathe is called oxygen, that is African food" to my African friend, but he is breathing in tears from his mother dying of hunger...
At night time, in Africa, it's known as the darkest country. Till this day, I still wonder why.
Yo momma so dumb that she thought Auradon was in "Varian And The Seven Kingdoms."