INS jokes
A mother and son were in the backyard, and the son finished building a shed. The mother says, "You're the best husband ever."
A kid in a wheelchair got hurt yesterday. I got detention yesterday because I told him to walk it off.
What do trans men and Pinocchio have in common?
Both are lying when they say "I'm a real boy."
(I'm a trans man myself lol)
How did the cookie 🍪 feel when he was dunked in milk?
Batter.
What do iPhones and the Titanic have in common?
There's no Jack!
What do the Titanic and the Sixth Sense have in common?
Icy dead people.
Can we have sex, because if we don't, I can't like you, big, thick booty!
So let's have sex in bed, you sexy woman, or behind a tree, because shoving my dick in your pussy is a very nice feeling while sucking your ass.
Okay, so I know this is not a joke, but I wanted to take some time to say if you have autism, you are still amazing. You are lovely in every way, and if people bully you, don't listen because they are wrong. You are cute, and I know how it feels. I have ADHD, and I get bullied a lot, but I don't let that get to me because I know what they are saying is wrong and not true. People with autism, stay strong; you got this. I will be your friend by heart, even if it's not in person.
What do ninjas and depressed people have in common?
They're always cutting.
My girlfriend broke up with me because I quote Linkin Park too much.
But in the end, it doesn’t even matter.
I was sitting in traffic the other day.
Probably why I got run over.
Where do you take someone who’s been injured in a peek-a-boo accident?
To the I.C.U.
What’s the most terrifying word in nuclear physics?
Oops!
What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable?
Putting her back in the wheelchair when you're done.
What do the Twin Towers and Angry Birds' pigs have in common?
They always getting hit.
Why can’t orphans get married in Alabama?
Because they don’t have a sister.
What does the F in orphan stand for?
FAMILY 😭😭
*IT'S DEPRESSING THIS PAGE EXISTS*
Stacy: Honey, I'm kinda new to texting, what does lol mean?
Justin: I'm not sure, "lots of love," I guess.
Margaret: Stacy, are you there? I don't know if you heard, but Amber and her three kids were killed in a car crash this morning. I'm in total shock!
Stacy: lol
I went up to the deaf kid and said, "I’m going to punch you in 3, 2, 1." And he ended up with a broken nose, and I said, "You should have listened to me!"
How did Protestants perform in the 16th century? Well done.