INS jokes

Seizure

    • What’s the first thing you should do if an epileptic is having a seizure in the bathtub?

    Throw in your dirty laundry!

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    • Relationship

    • I dated a girl, and I didn’t know she was previously in an abusive relationship.

    I thought she just REALLY hated high-fives.

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    • Number

    • Why shouldn’t you call people in China?

    Because there are so many Wings and Wongs you might "wing" the wrong number.

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    • Brain

    • The brain named itself, and when the brain realized that it named itself, it was surprised.

    But maybe, it was a spelling mistake and the brain wanted the name Brian. We all have a little Brian in us!

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    • Lemon

    • A local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing bet of one thousand dollars that their bartender could squeeze a lemon dry until all the juice ran into a glass, and anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money. Many people had tried but failed. Over time, weight lifters, lumberjacks, men in the Army, and etc. But still, nobody could do it.

    One day, a scrawny little man came in wearing thick glasses and a cheap suit and said in a tiny squeaky voice, "I'd like to try the bet." After the laughter had died down, the bartender said, "okay," and he grabbed a lemon and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rhine to the little man. But the crowd's laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass. As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the one thousand dollars and asked the little man, "What do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, a weight lifter, or what?" The man simply replied, "I work for the IRS."

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    • Woman

    • How are Kentucky Fried Chicken and a woman the same?

    Once you take away the legs and the breasts, you’re left with one greasy box to put your bone in.

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    • Trend

    • You know the stupid trend where people say it’s ok to be overly obese? Healthy even? That you should take pride in it? Which idiots started that movement?

    Well. We know one thing for sure. They were obviously members of a wider community.

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    • Truck

    • How do you disappoint people in Africa?

    Send a message saying that you’re going to send trucks full of food, water, and clothing.

    But don’t follow through and send the trucks empty.

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