INS jokes
What do dogs and planks have in common? They both have to be walked.
"There is no way you can fit in there."
"Says who?"
"Your mom."
"When?"
"Last night."
"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-"
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I wondered why there was red all over my bathroom til I found out that my sis had dyed her hair red. Man, it looked like somebody died in there! Lol.
Two teenagers were raping an 11-year-old girl in an alley, so I stepped in to help. The little bitch didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.
Why is "dark" spelled with a K and not a C?
Because you can't see in the dark.
Q: Why don't Indians play soccer?
A: Because every time they're in the corner, they open a store.
Q: How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
A: You give them a Sandy Hook.
My girlfriend just broke up with me because I held a door for another girl. She said I was cheating, but the girl I helped was in a wheelchair.
What is illegal in Africa? Water guns.
Yo mama so fat,
Donald Trump himself tried to use her as his border wall in 2016.
One day my dog died because we couldn't find him. Then we got a cat on the same day. Then my cat went missing, and when I was crying, we heard our Asian neighbor was having a party. Then we went over and I saw my dog and cat on the grill, and they ate them in front of me, saying "yum yum doggy in my tummy and cat in my tummy as well."
What do you call a terrorist in a bathtub?
Bathbomb.
Why do orphans only have 362 days in a year?
Because they don't have Mothers', Fathers', and Family Day!
How many people fit in a tree?
I don't know, you tell me.
What's the difference between an abortion and a baby girl in China? Nothing, they both die.
What do a priest and a pedo have in common?
Nothing, they both like kids.
Are you a gun, because I would be your bullets because I love going in children.
Are you a white van? Because I would love to put children in you.
What do you call field day in Africa?
The Hunger Games.