What do you get when you put a baby in a box filled with glass and nails and push it down the stairs?
... A boner.
Injury Jokes
My pet parrot had an accident and lost both his wings... he is being very brave about it though... he is totally unflappable.
I'll break your bones, b*tch.
Me: I have an arrow in my head.
My friend: What's the point of that?
Me: Of the arrow?
Friend: No!
Me: Probably the flint.
I gave the blind kid a gun and said it was a hair dryer.
I gave the blind kid a gun and called it a hair dryer.
Me: *Calls friend* "Dude, I just fell off a 50-foot ladder!"
Friend: "Bro, you ok?!"
Me: "Yeah, lucky I only fell off the first step!"
Little Mickel was on a tree.
He fell down and hurt his knee.
He sat down and started to cry, and from there, he would never lie.
Once my friend saw my wrist, slapped it and said "I like ya cuts, G!"
A man walks into a bar and ends up with a concussion.
Maybe if he looked where he was going, he wouldn’t have hit that pole.
Ads for meds be like: Chloroform, it's Chloroform, helps with itchy eyes. Side affects may include Acute Flaccid Myelitis (AFM), AIDS (HIV/AIDS), Alphaviruses, Alzheimer's Disease, Alzheimer's Diseases (Spanish), Arboviral Encephalitis, Arthritis, Babesiois, Cancer, Unintentional injuries, Chronic lower respiratory disease, Stroke and cerebrovascular diseases, Alzheimer's disease, Diabetes, Influenza and pneumonia.
It’s raining, it’s pouring. The old man is snoring. He got shot in the head and didn’t wake up in the morning.
My mom always said garlic powder makes everything better, so I sprinkled some on my divorce papers and my wife's broken leg.
I'm going to draw a picture. A picture with a twist. I'll draw it with a razor blade. I'll draw it on my wrist.
A man walks into a bar.
He had to have 13 stitches!
U die from robot bite.
My arm: "I'M GETTING RIPPED TONIGHT!"
What's white and black and red all over? A nun that fell down stairs.
You get paper cuts on each eye and walk off a cliff.
He got a paper cut and bled out.
