What will happen if someone kick you right in the balls? You will be like ow my nuts.
Instead of Edward Scissorhands, I’m Edwardscissor wrists.
What is red and looks like a zebra?
My arm. Hehhehehehe UwU
Gwen: Hi sir, how are you?
Tj: Good... you?
Gwen: I am super duper good! And where is your date? It seems like you need one 😉!
Tj: 😏.
Gwen: Here, this is your guest hall pass...you may...come in my friend!
Tj: Thanks but um, don't you think you should be um getting inside too?
Gwen: 🙁 No thanks sir but I have to work...I am the staff so bye! 😁.
Tj: NO!!!!!!
1 day later.
Gwen: 🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕🤰🤰🤰👩👧👦
So there's a little girl playing hopscotch at the front of her house while her mother hangs up the washing and her father mows the lawn. She says, "Step on a crack and you break your mother's back." The father laughs, until his daughter steps on a crack resulting in her mother's back breaking.
The little girl's father looks in terror, she then says, "Step on a line and you break your father's spine." The father closes his eyes waiting for his spine to break, but nothing happens. When he opens his eyes again he sees that he is ok, and nothing has happened to him. Suddenly he hears someone yell out "OW MY SPINE!" The father runs around the corner to see the mailman laying on the floor.
Broke my toenail yesterday. I'm now presenting you puns/jokes:
1. "Yeah, I broke my toenail, wanna see phoTOES?" 2. "I'm tired of bandaging my toe! Oh. My. GAUZE."
I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hairdryer.
My bad, I kick me bad in if balls, and he got so fucking mad.
I would like to dedicate this song to a friend of mine, who was run over last week and is in hospital.
The wheels on the bus go round and round!
What did the bull say when got hit in the special area? "Damn my bulls!" Ahahaha
I'm stumped.
What do you call an injured person who doesn't want to play a game with you? A sore loser.
Why did the director have an injured leg? Cause he couldn't find the right cast.
What's the difference between my thighs and my eyebrows? Nothing, I slit both of them.
If I stepped on a Twix, would you get mad?
What can change color and get beat up?
You.
People are fighting in a war and a man gets hit 4 times in the arm and says "Tis a Scratch" And the other guy looking at him in shock says "A Scratch, Your Arm is off your body!!"
Well, I didn’t get as high as I wanted to, but I’m high enough that if I fall I’d probably break something.
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but a crowbar could do it so much quicker.
Why do we tell actors to break a leg?
So they can get in the cast!
