Injury

Injury Jokes

What do you get when you put a baby in a box filled with glass and nails and push it down the stairs?

... A boner.

My pet parrot had an accident and lost both his wings... he is being very brave about it though... he is totally unflappable.

Me: *Calls friend* "Dude, I just fell off a 50-foot ladder!"

Friend: "Bro, you ok?!"

Me: "Yeah, lucky I only fell off the first step!"

Little Mickel was on a tree.

He fell down and hurt his knee.

He sat down and started to cry, and from there, he would never lie.

A man walks into a bar and ends up with a concussion.

Maybe if he looked where he was going, he wouldn’t have hit that pole.

Ads for meds be like: Chloroform, it's Chloroform, helps with itchy eyes. Side affects may include Acute Flaccid Myelitis (AFM), AIDS (HIV/AIDS), Alphaviruses, Alzheimer's Disease, Alzheimer's Diseases (Spanish), Arboviral Encephalitis, Arthritis, Babesiois, Cancer, Unintentional injuries, Chronic lower respiratory disease, Stroke and cerebrovascular diseases, Alzheimer's disease, Diabetes, Influenza and pneumonia.

It’s raining, it’s pouring. The old man is snoring. He got shot in the head and didn’t wake up in the morning.

My mom always said garlic powder makes everything better, so I sprinkled some on my divorce papers and my wife's broken leg.

My stepdad took me to work, and he told me I could climb trees.

I woke up in a hospital. Wait, did I mention that my stepdad was a lumberjack?

My nan broke her toe on a brick today. Last time she broke her toe because she kicked her car tire. Does that now mean I have to tow her back to the doctors?

I was anonymous with the previous jokes. I will now go by "I can fly! *falls*."

What's black and white and red all over? A mime I hit with my car.

Today was a bittersweet day...

Bad news is my friend was assaulted. Good news is I successfully sneak attacked someone!