Injury

Injury jokes

Guy: Are you depression? 'Cause you're crippling me.

Car driver: No, I'm the guy that hit you with his car and crippled you.

Guy: Don't worry, I was already crippled because I got crippling depression.

1.) What’s yellow and can’t swim?

- A bus full of children.

2.) Did you hear about the Pillsbury Dough Boy?

- He died of a yeast infection.

3.) I will never forget my grandad’s last words...

- “You’re still holding the ladder, right?”

4.) I have a fish that can breakdance...

- Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.

5.) Give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours...

- Light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

What do my little brother and a vagina have in common?

They both ooze blood 🩸 when punched.

"Jack and Jill went home because he was sick because of the virus in town, gave him a frown, and his arms were pricked."

One day I was passing a blind man and I gave him a gun and told him it was a blow dryer.

Next day I went for another walk and saw his grave.

My little league football debut was a lot like the first time I had sex. I was beaten, bruised, and bloody, but at least my Dad came.

What a day yesterday was! I got a promotion, and my sister's killer was hit by a bus. Now I'm in a cast!

I broke my arm yesterday. My bro said it is Arm-ageddon, and I still don’t know why.

Me explaining to the school nurse that ice can't cure everything.

Nurse: hOW DaRe yOu OpPosE mE mORtAl!

My friend said having sex is a lot like your first football game.

You're bloody and bruised, but at least your dad was there.