Inch jokes
One night I was sitting on my bed in my room, minding my own business. It was pretty late, around 10 PM. The glow of my laptop screen was the only light in the room. I heard a noise coming from behind me. It sounded like the door was opening, but there was no one else in the house.
I turned around and found Mr. Incredible standing in my doorway, a stern look on his face. He walked over to me, slowly and dramatically. Then he leaned over and pointed his finger at my face, only about two inches away now. I was frozen with my back against the wall. Then, Mr. Incredible said something I would never forget: "Stop pirating video games."
Ever since that day, I have never gone on a pirating website and have paid legally for my video games. True story.
What's 10 inches and makes women scream?
Cot death!
Q: What's 8 inches and makes my wife scream when I put it in her mouth?
A: Her dead fetus.
What’s twelve inches and white?
Nothing.
What's red, 6 inches long, and makes my girlfriend cry when I feed it to her?
Her miscarriage.
What is 6 inches long and makes women scream? Stillbirth...
What’s pink, nine inches, and makes my wife cry when I shove it down her throat?
Her Miscarriage.
What's about 12 inches long, has a purple head, and can make women scream all night?
Cot death.
What's thick, 12 inches, and in your mum's throat?
My penis.
What’s red, nine inches long, and makes my girlfriend cry every time she sees it?
Her abortion.
What’s 12 inches and is moist inside?
My record holding cucumbers, locally grown at my farm.
What sort of file turns a one inch hole into a two inch hole?
A pedophile.
What is Jesus' favorite band?
Nine Inch Nails.