What’s pink, nine inches, and makes my wife cry when I shove it down her throat?
Her Miscarriage.
What's about 12 inches long, has a purple head, and can make women scream all night?
Cot death.
What's thick, 12 inches, and in your mum's throat?
My penis.
What’s red, nine inches long, and makes my girlfriend cry every time she sees it?
Her abortion.
What’s 12 inches and is moist inside?
My record holding cucumbers, locally grown at my farm.
What sort of file turns a one inch hole into a two inch hole?
A pedophile.
What is Jesus' favorite band?
Nine Inch Nails.
