What's at least 6 inches long and goes in your mouth, and it's more fun if it vibrates?
A toothbrush.
What has 2 arms, 2 legs, 2 eyes, 2 breasts for milking, and a hole to fill with my 9 inches?
A sexy female.
Your mama's so fat, when she grew an inch, she pushed the Earth down.
What is white and 9 inches?
Nothing.
What is six inches, has nuts, and is hard?
A sinkers bar.
A woman was sitting alone at a bar, and a man approached her. He asked her why she looked so sad. She responded that her boyfriend had just broken up with her because she was too kinky.
The man expressed his amazement when he admitted that his girlfriend had dumped him because of his fetishes. After a few drinks, they decided to go back to her place.
When they arrived, she told him to make himself comfortable while she freshened up. The man complied. After a long time, she burst open her bedroom door and said, "I hope you're ready!"
She stood in the doorway wearing a latex body suit and a gas mask. She had a whip in one hand, a flogger in the other hand, and a 12-inch strap-on dangling between her thighs.
The dude looked at her and said, "Thanks, but I'm good for the night!"
She said, "I thought you said that you were kinky."
The dude replied, "While you were in there, I f-cked your cat, pissed in your plants, and came on your curtains. It's been fun!"
What do you call a white guy with a 10 inch cock?
Asleep. Because that motherfucker's dreaming.
What do you do if a woman is choking? Pull out a few inches.
Roses are red, I hate snitches, You talk a lot of game for a guy with 3 inches.
A woman went into her garden and danced in front of her vegetables.
The next morning, her corn didn’t grow, and the tomatoes didn’t blush or turn red, but the cucumbers grew four inches.
My uncle was a priest.
He had a two-inch penis, but when it was in my ass, it felt like a torpedo.
If you have a girlfriend/crush that's shorter than you, go up to her and say, "You're short, lemme add some inches."
Best pick up line EVER.
There is an app on your phone called ringer. Go into it. There is a 12 to 15 digit number. Enter that into my phone, my dick will get 12 to 15 inches longer.
What’s 8 inches and women scream when they see it?
A puppy, you dirty monkey!
My crush: "I cut 4 inches off my hair yesterday." Me: "So?" My crush: "4 inches is a lot!" Me: "Oh yeah?"
I was blessed with a 9-inch dick. Fair to say that priest is in jail now.
Guess what.
What?
Your mum saw your 1 inch.
Easy way to get away from rape is to become the rapist. All women need to carry a 12-inch dildo and a gun!
Yo mama so far, she makes the Statue of Freedom look like a 6-inch action figure.
There is this fish, and this fish thinks if that fly drops 6 inches, I’m gonna jump out the water and eat that fucking fish!
Then there is a bear, he thinks if that fly drops six inches, that fish jumps up - I’m gonna run out there and eat that fucking fish!
This huntsman also thinks to himself 🧐 if that fly drops six inches, fish jumps up, bear runs out, eats the fish. I’m gonna shoot that fucking bear.
Unbelievably there is a tiny little brave mouse, who also thinks to himself 🧐 if that fly drops six inches, fish jumps, bear runs, huntsman shoots,
He’s bound to drop that cheese sandwich in his back pocket!!!!
I’m gonna eat that fucking cheese sandwich!!
Meanwhile...
there’s This cat!!!’ He sees what’s going on - if they fly drops six inches -the fish =bear =huntsman =mouse eating the cheese sarnie....
Easy pickings...
Anyway bang 💥 the fly drops six inches. Fish jumps up. Bear grabs the fish. Huntsman shoots the fucking bear,
DROPS HIS CHEESE SARNIE!!
Cat runs after mouse trying to get the cheese sarnie
The cat slips over him (stacks it) cat falls in the river...
LONG STORY I KNOW BUT THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS...
every time a fly drops six inches a pussy get wet)
WALLOP... try remembering all that in A pub pissed. Xx
