Im jokes

Guys, I promise I’m not suicidal, I just like dark things.

*proceeds to walk around the house with headphones in and stare at the ceiling while laying down on the couch*

Why did the white girl come back from Africa?

Because there was no water for her to drink. I'm black.

I'm sorry m8.

A kid is trick-or-treating. He knocks on a door. Then someone opens the door and the kid said, "HI, I'M THE WICKED WIENER!"

I ran into a dwarf, and he said, “Well, I’m not happy.”

Me: Then which one are you?

I donated blood today. In the future, I will try to remember that I'm supposed to donate my blood only.

I'm required by law to tell you I am a registered sex offender.

I’m gonna kick some gum and chew some ass... but I’m all out of ass.

A boy went to a doctor, and the doctor said, "I can't treat you." The boy asked why, and the doctor said, "Because I'm a family doctor."

I'm 43 and my date is 19. A man rudely comes up to our table and calls me a pedophile. I told him to fuck off, this is our 10th anniversary.

"Hey, hey, Spongebob! Water you doing?" [laughs]

"Just looking for all my coins with my metal detector because beach better have my money!" [laughs]

"How much have you found so far?"

"Y'know what, I'm not really shore!" [laughs]

Covid be like, "I'm going to take your breath away."

My dog died. I'm so sad.

Wife: I’m pregnant.

Husband: Hi pregnant, I’m dad.

Wife: No, you’re not.

A depressed kid didn't succeed at suicide and said, "I'm a failure at suicide, too."

Thank you so much for helping me get to 20 followers! I'm so happy, every time I look at my followers going up, it makes me so happy. I can't wait to keep posting other things on here! <3

My sister: You were born ugly.

Me: I'm not a mirror, sis.

You know what, I'm done. We are banning "your mom" jokes. They're old, weird, and have been done thousands of times. Just like your mom.

I'm always hanging in there.

Hanging on the wall.

A guy walks with a young boy into the woods. The boy turns to him and says, "Hey mister, it's getting really dark and I'm scared."

The man replies, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"