Im jokes

Chris Rock: Jada, I can't wait to see you in G.I. Jane 2!

Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song starts playing:

Will: "I got in one lil' fight about my wife's lost hair, she said, 'Will, if you don't do something I'm gonna have an affair!'" 😂😂😂

I'm required by law to tell you I am a registered sex offender.

I’m gonna kick some gum and chew some ass... but I’m all out of ass.

Thank you guys for 6 whole followers! I'm so happy!

You know what, I'm done. We are banning "your mom" jokes. They're old, weird, and have been done thousands of times. Just like your mom.

When the North Tower saw the South Tower collapse, he would say, "I'm still standing."

My sister: You were born ugly.

Me: I'm not a mirror, sis.

My dog died. I'm so sad.

Covid be like, "I'm going to take your breath away."

A boy went to a doctor, and the doctor said, "I can't treat you." The boy asked why, and the doctor said, "Because I'm a family doctor."

I'm 43 and my date is 19. A man rudely comes up to our table and calls me a pedophile. I told him to fuck off, this is our 10th anniversary.

Me: I'm retarded.

Teacher: Why?

Me: It took me 2 hours to see "60 Minutes."

I was excited to watch Fast and Furious because of Dom Toretto, then I realized family is nothing to me 'cause I'm an orphan.

"Hey, hey, Spongebob! Water you doing?" [laughs]

"Just looking for all my coins with my metal detector because beach better have my money!" [laughs]

"How much have you found so far?"

"Y'know what, I'm not really shore!" [laughs]

I'm always hanging in there.

Hanging on the wall.

Thank you so much for helping me get to 20 followers! I'm so happy, every time I look at my followers going up, it makes me so happy. I can't wait to keep posting other things on here! <3

A depressed kid didn't succeed at suicide and said, "I'm a failure at suicide, too."

A guy walks with a young boy into the woods. The boy turns to him and says, "Hey mister, it's getting really dark and I'm scared."

The man replies, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"

What did the snail say to his ex-wife?

"I'm still leaving you!"

Hey, Mom, I'm back from the circus parade. It was amazing! First came the elephants, then came the tigers in the cage, and then came a beautiful lady on a white stallion. Oh, and what came after her?

Asked the mother, "Dad and every sailor in the state of Tennessee," said the boy.