Im jokes

I'm so smart, wanna know why? Because you're gay.

An old man walks in a forest with a child, and the child says, "It's dark, and I'm scared." The old man says, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk out alone."

(True story)

One day Sally's mom said, "I can just eat you up!" And Sally says, "No, you can't!" Then the mom asks why and Sally says, "Because I'm a beaner, and we don't taste good."

I'm back.

I went for a swim in the river that crosses Mexico, and I saw a Mexican, aka a wetback, swimming across. I asked, and he said, "I'm a wetback."

Why can't I talk in the dark?

Because I'm anonymous.

I'm gay because I like men.

Me: MOM, I'm tired.

Mom: Take a nap.

Me: No, I can't sleep if Dad isn't here.

Mom: *hangs picture of dad on her room wall* Well, now you can.

Son: Dad, can I get a girlfriend?

Dad: Son, no, you are only 10, so no.

Son: Dad, I'm leaving to get a girlfriend.

Dad: Son, nooo, you are not my son!

Son: What did you say? *Son slaps the dad.*

Dad: Good, son, goodbye, get out of my home.

Son: Good, you can go move to a new home.

Q: Ten shepherds out in the sheep field. How do you know which one's gay?

A: He's the one the sheep fuck!

(I'm gay, and I know this joke is demeaning and inappropriate, but I still think it's funny as a 2-inch penis.)

"-Hey dude, you got some beef? You want some beef from me?"

"- No thanks... I'm vegetarian!"

Adopted kid:

Hey, Alex, what are you doing?

Alex:

Nothing, just playing my game. Anyways, you know you can call me "dad."

Adopted kid:

OK, dad Alex.

Alex:

Oh, come on! My game! I’m winning. Let’s go!

Adopted kid:

I’m so glad I have a mom.

A fact! I think I'm officially a poo-buster, as the plunger does look like the weapon in "Ghostbusters"!

Bro told me this when he passed away.

I’m “Fading.”

I'm tired of seeing Mal's joke the second I open up the site. It's not a bad joke. I'm just tired of it.

The power of yeet.

I can't do this - YEET!

I'm not good at this - YEET!

I'm not old enough - YEET!

I'm gonna cut my life off.

I was talking to my friends and they said a random topic about cats, and I'm like, "Water you talking about?" =3

I'm looking for women. Put your height, weight, and bra size in the comments.

Person 1: How the freak did you get in my house?!?! I locked the door!!!

Person 2: But I'm your mom... I have a key. You dumbass.