If jokes
Me: Hey God, are you there? It's me, Michael.
God: *SILENCE*
Me: If any gods exist, they better say or do something this instant!
God: *SILENCE*
Yo mama so fat that if she didn't eat for a day, there would be enough food to feed Africans for 500 years.
Hey, I’m George, and this is how to figure out if someone is a psychopath.
Go into someone’s search history, and find “Cuphead ship fanfic”.
Hey George, why do you have Russia x America countryhumans?
If you read this, you qualify as gay.
Math Teacher: "If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other hand, what do I have?"
Student: "A drinking problem."
What would you do if you were killed?
They say if Viagra lasts more than four hours, call the doctor? I’m just wondering, it’s been six hours and I’m still hard, should I call the doctor or hop on another woman?
This is not a joke. Have you ever thought about it? You’re an emo while wearing black. So what if you are black? Does that mean you’re an emo because you are black and emos wear black? ;)
Bro, if I die, I want to die blown up by 34 pounds of C4 at a furry convention.
How many hookers fit in a Cadillac?
About 4 in the trunk if you stack 'em right.
If you take off the first and last letter of "demon," they're gonna turn emo.
What if this post got 78.2 likes? 🤩🤭😈
Today I went to get a sub, and they asked me if I wanted all vegetables. I said no, leave some for the rest of the customers.
If this pops up on your timeline, fuck you!
I arrived at basketball and I asked little Jimmy if he brought the basketballs, and he said, "Nope, but I got two right here!"
What happens to Freedom Towers if they got hit? They stepped in Ground Zero.
My grandma said, "Hey, you want a Butterfinger cause I do?"
Me: Grandpa's in the kitchen if you want a finger.
I was the person that flew into the Twin Towers. I have two friends that are both twins, and whenever they speak, I tell them to shut up because if they don't, I'll make myself explode in them.
Why would a cannibal stop eating people?
If they got fed up with them.
Like if you have a dick, or you are an orphan.