If jokes

We have Build-A-Bear; meanwhile, orphans have Build-A-Mom, or if they’d rather, Build-A-Dad.

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

'Cause 7 8 9.

But why did 7 eat 9?

'Cause you need 3 square meals a day :D

I don't care if I got beat the first day you were born. Your momma asked for a receipt!

Comment anything if you liked the picture of Kenya in her bra!

Hint: It was a red bra with pink strips! And it said, "I love everyone!"

#she is sex*

What would you name a detective if he didn't already have a name?

Cassie.

Get it?

What did the undershirt say to the T-shirt when they were fighting?

"If you don't shut up right now, you're gonna lose your shirt!!!"

Get it?

There are 2 dads and 2 sons. They all caught a fish.

Why did they only come home with 3 fish?

(Answer)

There were a grand-dad, dad, and son.

If you don't get it, then it means grand father is the dad to the dad (1 dad). Dad is the dad for the son and a son for the grandfather. Get it?

If orphans aren’t religious, they really have no father. 😂

Because all I do is pound it, man, I would put you on my 600 lb life if you didn't weigh a thousand.

If a master fisherman had a caddie, what would be the caddie's job title?

A master baiter.

I asked my mom if I was adopted. She said no, "Why the fuck would I adopt you?" and I said "I'm gonna kill myself," and she also said, "Make sure you do it right this time."

A guy walks up to me and says, "I wonder if the hookman is real?"

I reply saying, "Yeah, it's Asa Hutchinson, lol."

My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.

If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.

"The only way I'd want to be reincarnated is if I can be reincarnated as a man," said the young woman.

"Why?" said her friend.

"Oh, I don't know, just men are so cool,"

"Is that the only reason?" said her friend.

"Maybe........" said the young woman. "Maybe."

I would tell you a story of my dad... If I knew who he was.

A: This rice is very delicious!

B: Ya! It is more delicious if it is cooked.

If you are a robot, you cannot talk.

Premise 1: IF God exists, he exists.

Premise 2: If God exists, he exists.

Premise 3: IF God exists, he definitely exists.

Conclusion: Therefore he exists.

How many Lowe’s could Rob Lowe rob if Rob Lowe could rob Lowe’s?

If you're feeling numb, use your thumb.