If jokes

If an orphan took a photo, what would it be called?

A self-me.

I don't care if I got beat the first day you were born. Your momma asked for a receipt!

Have you heard of the Xbox game Sea of Thieves?

See if these nuts fit in your mouth.

What did the undershirt say to the T-shirt when they were fighting?

"If you don't shut up right now, you're gonna lose your shirt!!!"

Get it?

There are 2 dads and 2 sons. They all caught a fish.

Why did they only come home with 3 fish?

(Answer)

There were a grand-dad, dad, and son.

If you don't get it, then it means grand father is the dad to the dad (1 dad). Dad is the dad for the son and a son for the grandfather. Get it?

What would you name a detective if he didn't already have a name?

Cassie.

Get it?

If you are a big fan of me, go to the movie and I kill the bad guys. If you don't, I will be mad and I will be sonic.exe lol.

I asked my mom if I was adopted. She said no, "Why the fuck would I adopt you?" and I said "I'm gonna kill myself," and she also said, "Make sure you do it right this time."

If orphans aren’t religious, they really have no father. 😂

Because all I do is pound it, man, I would put you on my 600 lb life if you didn't weigh a thousand.

If a master fisherman had a caddie, what would be the caddie's job title?

A master baiter.

And I blame it on the al-al-al-cohol, but if I were you, I wouldn’t kiss your mom on the mouth at all.

I think if the center of the earth froze, it would be pretty hard core.

Never drink tea in school... I give people tea if they've passed out... tea can be nice, but only have it once a day... It's not what you think... It's not tea, it's CPR.

If you are a robot, you cannot talk.

I asked the librarian if they had any books on anxiety.

She replied with, "Won't you worry a lot about returning it late?"

If you can make a woman laugh, you're almost there.

If you're almost there and then she laughs, then you've got a whole different problem on your hands.

Yo mama is so ugly that if she went on stage, the show would instantly say, "And that's a wrap!"

I asked the homeless woman if I could take her home. She said yes, so I took it.

Roblox Brookhaven be like:

"ABC if you wanna be adopted."

"ABC if you wanna be my friend."

"ABC if you wanna be a banker."

"ABC if you wanna rob the bank."

"ABC if you wanna date."

"ABC if you wanna sex."