If jokes

If ignorance is bliss, BLESSEDBRIAN must be the happiest person alive.

If brains were dynamite, BLESSEDBRIAN wouldn't have enough to blow his nose.

If Leo were any slower, she’d be going BACKWARD.

If LAUGHTER is the best medicine, BLESSEDBRIAN'S JOKES are the disease.

If BlessedBrian were ANY LESS intelligent, he’d have to be WATERED twice a week.

If BlessedBrian were any more two-faced, he’d be a Rubik’s Cube.

What should you do if you meet a giant? Use big words.

What’s the best air to breathe if you want to be rich? Millionaire.

What time would it be if Godzilla came to school? Time to run!

They say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Well, not if it's poisoned. Then the antidote becomes the most important.

If you can make a woman laugh, you're almost there.

If you're almost there and then she laughs, then you've got a whole different problem on your hands.

I asked the librarian if they had any books on anxiety.

She replied with, "Won't you worry a lot about returning it late?"

How is tightrope walking like getting a blowjob from someone ugly?

If you want to enjoy either, you absolutely can’t look down.

If Kamala Harris is Indian, why doesn’t she have that dot on her head?

So she claims to be.

And the only black color I know is when you shut off the lights.

Your hairline is so far back that if you were a backbencher in class and I was a germ sitting on it, I would think that the rest of the backbenchers are seated in front of the class.

If a master fisherman had a caddie, what would be the caddie's job title?

A master baiter.

If you are a robot, you cannot talk.

A: This rice is very delicious!

B: Ya! It is more delicious if it is cooked.

How many Lowe’s could Rob Lowe rob if Rob Lowe could rob Lowe’s?

"The only way I'd want to be reincarnated is if I can be reincarnated as a man," said the young woman.

"Why?" said her friend.

"Oh, I don't know, just men are so cool,"

"Is that the only reason?" said her friend.

"Maybe........" said the young woman. "Maybe."