If jokes

What should you do if you meet a giant? Use big words.

What’s the best air to breathe if you want to be rich? Millionaire.

What time would it be if Godzilla came to school? Time to run!

They say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Well, not if it's poisoned. Then the antidote becomes the most important.

If you can make a woman laugh, you're almost there.

If you're almost there and then she laughs, then you've got a whole different problem on your hands.

It’s like Sonic always says, “If you’re ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?”

If you're feeling numb, use your thumb.

What happens if you sit under a cow?

You get a pat on the head.

If a sped is late for class, is it wrong to call them tardy?

I walked up to 2 people kissing and stared.

After a little while, they asked me if I minded. I said no, I don’t mind.

Someone asked me if I was a good sleeper. I told them I'm so good that I can do it with my eyes closed.

A guy walks up to me and says, "I wonder if the hookman is real?"

I reply saying, "Yeah, it's Asa Hutchinson, lol."

My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.

If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.

What would Martin Luther King be if he was white? Alive.

If your kid beats up an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?

I heard my neighbors having sex, and it was annoying me, so I called my girlfriend to ask if she wanted to go out, but when I called her, I heard my neighbors' phone ringing.

And I blame it on the al-al-al-cohol, but if I were you, I wouldn’t kiss your mom on the mouth at all.

I think if the center of the earth froze, it would be pretty hard core.

Never drink tea in school... I give people tea if they've passed out... tea can be nice, but only have it once a day... It's not what you think... It's not tea, it's CPR.

How do you know if a rapper is hungry?

They start dropping BEATS at the dinner table.