If jokes

If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?

I was really rooting to tell that one.

Roses are red, violets are blue, and if you're my friend, I'll be there till the end.

Dislike this if you think orphans are weird.

Like this if you think orphans are cool!

Me: Looks like a girl, sure as h3ll I don't sound like one.

Michael Jackson: Looks like a boy, sure as h3ll don't sound like one.

That [is] what we have i[n] commen, but if you mix up my gender I won't give a F about it. Michael Jackson not so much : )

What if the ocean just raided Titanic of its people? Like instead of it flooding, it was raiding it and threatened the passengers if they told, so they just said an iceberg flooded the ship.

Hey guys, thank you for finding this. Vote in the thumbs up or thumbs down whether you prefer Reese’s cups or Starbursts, and comment if you have a different preference! I would like to know a little about people! Thanks, Izzy.

Yo mama is so ugly, if she got a pound for every boy that found her unattractive, boys would find her attractive.

If you're reading this, then good, let's stop this hating on this site! We can just get along, or if not, then don't say anything at all! "Kiss."

Like if I'm fine-ish.

Well, if Stephen Hawking likes black holes so much, why did he call security when I put my hole on his face?

Dark humor leave if sensitive: Wives are like grenades: pull the ring, and the house is gone.

Yo mama so fat I bet if she farted, the whole Universe go Ba-Ba-Ba-Ba-BOOM.

What can happen if you bring a hooker into a stranger's house? He will ask you, "Really, are you nuts?"

Gutted rn... the girl I loved hard just got in a relationship. She liked me too so I missed the chance. Idk if she still does... man...

Why do flamingos sleep with one leg up?

Because if they slept with both legs up, they would fall over!

If you ever get mad, just punch an orphan. What are they supposed to do? Tell their parents?

What do you call your sister if she only has one leg?

Ei-lean.

If I had a sister with only 1 leg... wouldn't her name be I-Lean?

If you take a cap off a bottle, is it decapitation?

Sorry guys, I tried. I tried harder this time. I'll try again. Sorry, I can't delete things.

It's not rape if you say "April Fools!"