If jokes

If Finding Nemo was scientifically correct, Marlin would have changed into a female and mated with Nemo.

If at first you don’t succeed... then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.

Your friend lost his left arm, and after getting out of the hospital, you ask him if he’s OK. He says, "Yeah, I’m all RIGHT."

I asked the emo kid if they get jealous when their phone dies.

If I look after chickens, does that make me a chicken tender?

Oh Sans, you're such a bonehead! Sorry if that joke was jaw-breaking! LOL.

If there was a girl and a boy and the boy fell, what did the boy do to the girl?

He fell for her.

If a bird flies, and a duck can also run and fly, while a cat walks, why do we drink water?

You know how sometimes you want to listen to music?

But everything you listen to is just supremely unsatisfying, even if it's songs you usually love; they are just so unappealing, and you have no idea what you actually want to listen to.

If an orphan has a nightmare, they should run to their parents. Oh wait!

If I teach man he is the fish I caught, will I no longer be a fisher of men?

Are you suicidal? Remember, if you ever feel unwanted, just check to see your warrants.

If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I'd be broke.

If you're mad, go punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their mom?

What is the difference between an adopted kid and an orphan?

If you're adopted, you're actually wanted.

Everyone, if I am not online, that is because I am on a vacation, so yeah.

My Friend Evan: What happens if the voice inside your head is your soulmate?

Me: Then my soulmate is a F_cking A__hole.

If orphans made phones, it wouldn't have a home button.

Comment on this if you are somewhat like me: depressed, single, gay, and act like you're not burning inside.

There were 25 cows, 28 chickens. How many didn't?

(Ten, if you count in base 13!)