If jokes
Hey guys, can we stop making these jokes? If my mom sees this, I will never see the sun again.
Oh . . .
:(
Continue.
Why does New York have the Jets as their football team if those are what took out the Twin Towers?
Me and my friend are walking, we see a kid. My friend asks him why he's crying and if he lost his parents. He said, "Yeah." I slapped my friend because we were at an orphanage.
If I die, does my depression die with me?
How can you tell a Pokémon likes baseball?
Every night he turns into a Golbat.
Chris Rock: Jada, I can't wait to see you in G.I. Jane 2!
Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song starts playing:
Will: "I got in one lil' fight about my wife's lost hair, she said, 'Will, if you don't do something I'm gonna have an affair!'" 😂😂😂
What do orgasms and pulses have in common?
I don’t care if they have either of them.
If you think I would joke about Alzheimer's, forget it.
There were 3 blonde scientists...wait that’s not the joke. The first one said “we are going to pilot the first unmanned spacecraft to land on the sun.”
The second one said “but we can’t do that - if we get within 5 feet of the sun we’ll freeze to death!”
The third blonde says “so we go at night.”
An optimist says, "The glass is half full."
A pessimist says, "The glass is half empty."
A scientist walks by and says, "You guys are both wrong. The glass is technically completely full because it is half filled with air."
Then Africa comes by and says, "Stop arguing. At least you guys have water!"
One day the mailman came to drop the mail off, then he asked if I could use the bathroom. I said yeah. The thing is, my mom was coming out of the shower naked, and when she opened the door, it was me and the mailman.
Now, when the mailman sees me, he says to me, "We got something in common, we both saw your mom naked."
My teacher asked the class to stand up if you're dumb. No one did, so she said, "Come on, someone must be dumb," and pointed over to the left side of the classroom. Lil Jonny stands up. "Do you think you're dumb, Lil Jonny?" asked the teacher. "No, I just feel bad for you. You're the only one who stood up," replied Lil Jonny!
What is a yellow dog Libertarian?
A yellow dog Libertarian is a Libertarian who is blindly loyal to the Libertarian Party, he or she who is a yellow dog Libertarian is a card carrying member of the Libertarian Party who would not vote for a progressive Democrat or a conservative Republican even if their life depended on it! 🐕 🗽
Boi, you can't be talking because if someone punched you in the face, you will be the one to apologize.
Girls are like numbers squared. If they're under 13, just do 'em in your head.
What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Tell her to slow down and use lubricants.
What do bungee jumping and a gay man have in common?
If the rubber breaks, they're in beep shit.
Toast is like parents.
If they are both black, you have nothing to eat.
One day in Roblox, someone was arguing with me, and they asked me my age. "18." They said that they were twenty-two.
Me: "If you're so smart, what's the largest daycare game on Roblox?"
Him: "Yo Hair," he said. Then he left the game, and I said, "That is so messed up. Actually, that's bullcrap."
1+1=3
If you don't use a condom.