If jokes

What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?

Tell her to slow down and use lubricants.

What would Hitler do if he was in Minecraft?

Mien.

If your eyes were the sea, I would drown in them.

I asked a person in a wheelchair if they wanted to fight. All I had to do is say, "Stand up!"

If you get a divorce with your husband, does that still mean you’re siblings?

Two flies were playing football in a saucer. One tells the other, “You’ll need more practice if you want to play in the cup!”

Why is it called a building if it's already built?

A man walks into the taxidermist with two monkeys. The taxidermist asked if he wanted them mounted. The man said, "No. Shaking hands will be fine."

I can always tell if someone is lying just by looking at them.

I can also tell if they are standing.

If an orphan wants food, who does it? No one. Everybody just watches him starve because they couldn't find his parents.

Yo mama's so fat that Jane Goodall couldn't tell if she was a chimpanzee or a human being.

Where did the school kittens go for their field trip?

To the mew-seum!

If there are 4 Mexicans in a van, which of them is driving?

None of them. Immigration service is.

1+1=3

If you don't use a condom.

How can you tell if a man is straight? You don't have to, he will tell you.

One day in Roblox, someone was arguing with me, and they asked me my age. "18." They said that they were twenty-two.

Me: "If you're so smart, what's the largest daycare game on Roblox?"

Him: "Yo Hair," he said. Then he left the game, and I said, "That is so messed up. Actually, that's bullcrap."

These jokes are a little too explosive, if you ask me.

If anyone ever makes a time machine, please make a bunker for Hitler/the Nazis and send them to 2050. I want to see who would die first, future us or them.

Can we have sex, because if we don't, I can't like you, big, thick booty!

So let's have sex in bed, you sexy woman, or behind a tree, because shoving my dick in your pussy is a very nice feeling while sucking your ass.

If anyone's joke here says "burn in hell," I will mimic your account for the rest of your life.