If jokes

If your eyes were the sea, I would drown in them.

How do you know if a chick is too fat?

If you pull her pants down, her ass is still in them.

Can we have sex, because if we don't, I can't like you, big, thick booty!

So let's have sex in bed, you sexy woman, or behind a tree, because shoving my dick in your pussy is a very nice feeling while sucking your ass.

I can always tell if someone is lying just by looking at them.

I can also tell if they are standing.

If anyone ever makes a time machine, please make a bunker for Hitler/the Nazis and send them to 2050. I want to see who would die first, future us or them.

It's not incest if you're adopted.

I asked a person in a wheelchair if they wanted to fight. All I had to do is say, "Stand up!"

If Batman is half bat and half human, how was he made?

"He wasn't because you can't f*ck a bat."

If a furry looks like an animal, sounds like animal, and acts like an animal, can I run over it with my car like an animal?

If I make fun of orphans, they will cry to their parents.

Oh wait...

Why can't depressed people make depression jokes? Because they can't talk if they are dead.

These jokes are a little too explosive, if you ask me.

How can you tell if a man is straight? You don't have to, he will tell you.

If an orphan wants food, who does it? No one. Everybody just watches him starve because they couldn't find his parents.

If Satan is the devil, he's pretty sus.

Yo mama's so fat that Jane Goodall couldn't tell if she was a chimpanzee or a human being.

If the moon landing was fake, so is your house.

I didn't mean to call an Afghanistan hotline. I told them I was depressed, then they asked if I know how to drive a truck. I don't know how that has anything to do with it!

Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with your parents soon." He said my parents died. I said I know.

What can a gay man not be, but a heterosexual female that is a whore can be if a heterosexual male gives her enough money? 💸

cock teaser