If jokes

If I could make someone tell me their last words, they'd say, "Make me."

I submitted 10 puns to see if they'd make this list.

But no pun in ten did.

What do you get if you eat sugar?

High.

If I had a dime for every time someone has told me to kill myself, I'd be a millionaire.

One day, Jim saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. He asked if he was an orphan.

The kid said, “Yeah, what gave me away?”

Jim said, “I don’t see any parents.”

What did the Twin Towers say to each other?

Sorry if that offended anyone.

“I guess we are going down together!”

Me to friend: I'm homeschooled.

Friend: If I was homeschooled, I'd kms.

Me: Oh, I already tried that.

"WASSUP GIRLS IF I FIND YOU I'LL GLADLY FUCK YOU;]"

My mom was cooking dinner and asked me if I could get her a cutting board.

"No, I need you to take off your shirt and lay on the island so I can cut some chicken."

Why didn't the orphan go to the orphanage?

He didn't understand having a home, even if it was temporary.

If there is a guy in a wheelchair and he is a bully, say, "I’m still standing."

I asked my mom if I can help her out with the cooking, she answered yes.

A few hours later, dinner was ready and dad came to join. Mother said, "Honey, can you get the mashed potatoes?" Dad said, "Why, she’s right here."

If James Bond is the most famous spy, wouldn't that also make him the worst spy?

What do orgasms and pulses have in common?

I don’t care if they have either of them.

If your parachute fails midair, remember, you have the rest of your life to fix it.

My girlfriend's sister told me to write her a poem. This is what I came up with:

roses are red, violets are blue, if you ever feel alone, I'm always watching you.

If you think I would joke about Alzheimer's, forget it.

One day I was walking next to a homeless man, and he was eating grass. I asked him if he was hungry. He said yes. I said, "Follow me." You should have seen his face when I showed him my backyard!

What would Hitler do if he was in Minecraft?

Mien.

You know, the strangest things happen. My mom said, "Step on a crack, you break your mama's back, but if you step on a line, you break your father's spine." I stepped on the line. It didn't break his spine. Mom, who is my father?