If jokes

Girls are like numbers squared. If they're under 13, just do 'em in your head.

Boi, you can't be talking because if someone punched you in the face, you will be the one to apologize.

If anyone ever makes a time machine, please make a bunker for Hitler/the Nazis and send them to 2050. I want to see who would die first, future us or them.

Yo mama's so fat that Jane Goodall couldn't tell if she was a chimpanzee or a human being.

If Satan is the devil, he's pretty sus.

If the moon landing was fake, so is your house.

I didn't mean to call an Afghanistan hotline. I told them I was depressed, then they asked if I know how to drive a truck. I don't know how that has anything to do with it!

Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with your parents soon." He said my parents died. I said I know.

What can a gay man not be, but a heterosexual female that is a whore can be if a heterosexual male gives her enough money? 💸

cock teaser

If you have a girlfriend/crush that's shorter than you, go up to her and say, "You're short, lemme add some inches."

If you take an emo kid grocery shopping.

You get to scan their wrists for discounts!

I lost my job by giving up my seat to someone.

I didn't know you're not supposed to do that if you're a bus driver!

If you play the movie "Jaws" in reverse, it's a heartwarming story about a shark who gives arms and legs to disabled people.

1+1=3

If you don't use a condom.

These jokes are a little too explosive, if you ask me.

If a furry looks like an animal, sounds like animal, and acts like an animal, can I run over it with my car like an animal?

If I make fun of orphans, they will cry to their parents.

Oh wait...

Why can't depressed people make depression jokes? Because they can't talk if they are dead.

How can you tell if a man is straight? You don't have to, he will tell you.

One day in Roblox, someone was arguing with me, and they asked me my age. "18." They said that they were twenty-two.

Me: "If you're so smart, what's the largest daycare game on Roblox?"

Him: "Yo Hair," he said. Then he left the game, and I said, "That is so messed up. Actually, that's bullcrap."