If jokes

Elbow

11 views ·

If someone licks your elbow, you won't feel it.

If you put your ear up to someone's leg, you can hear them say, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!"

Crime

21 views ·

If being sexy were a crime, you better lock me up.

Not because I'm sexy, but because I have 5 dead children in my basement.

Ugliness

55 views ·

I'm not saying I'm ugly...

But when I'm watching porn, the hot, sexy women in my area always pop up and ask me if I'm rich.

Apple

1 view ·

If you drop an apple and an emo girl, who falls first?

The apple, because the emo girl hung herself.

Orphan

16 views ·

Me to an orphan: If you had a penny for everyone who loved you, I don't think you'd have any.

The orphan: But why?

Me: Because if someone loved you, they wouldn't have thrown you out.

Fitness

35 views ·

My fitness guru said that if I got raped, it would help me in future marathons.