If jokes

Coin

  • A guy told a beautiful girl, "Hey, I want to make love to you. If I throw $2000 when you go to pick it up, that's when I'll go. Is that okay?"

    She called her husband, and he said, "Okay, but pick it up fast so he doesn't have time to pull his pants down."

    Four hours later, she shows up to her house and tells her husband, "THAT FUCKER PAID IN COINS!"

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  • Plane Ticket

  • If you give a man a plane ticket, he will fly for a couple of hours, but if you push a man out of a plane, he will fly for the rest of his life :)

    Ted Cruz

  • If Mexico is an unredeemable shithole, then how come the Republicans' favorite senator, Ted Cruz, ran to Mexico as fast as he could after a little bit of snow in his home?

  • 1
  • Hater

  • If I had a dollar for every time a rap hater made an intelligent statement, I’d be more broke than the rap haters.

    Child

  • My wife and I have decided that we do not want children.

    If anybody does, please send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

  • 1
  • Crime

  • If being sexy were a crime, you better lock me up.

    Not because I'm sexy, but because I have 5 dead children in my basement.

  • 5