If jokes

Can we have sex, because if we don't, I can't like you, big, thick booty!

So let's have sex in bed, you sexy woman, or behind a tree, because shoving my dick in your pussy is a very nice feeling while sucking your ass.

Okay, so I know this is not a joke, but I wanted to take some time to say if you have autism, you are still amazing. You are lovely in every way, and if people bully you, don't listen because they are wrong. You are cute, and I know how it feels. I have ADHD, and I get bullied a lot, but I don't let that get to me because I know what they are saying is wrong and not true. People with autism, stay strong; you got this. I will be your friend by heart, even if it's not in person.

If Mississippi bought Virginia a New Jersey, what would Delaware?

Idaho... Alaska!

Like if depressed.

Like if you will sub to Patty Mahomes.

Comment if you will sub to Parker Finch.

Stacy: Honey, I'm kinda new to texting, what does lol mean?

Justin: I'm not sure, "lots of love," I guess.

Margaret: Stacy, are you there? I don't know if you heard, but Amber and her three kids were killed in a car crash this morning. I'm in total shock!

Stacy: lol

If blind people could play go-kart, it very quickly turns into bumper cars.

I have a huge thought: if Satan punishes people who are bad, doesn't that make him good?

If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on the planet.

Stop bullying orphans!

What if they tell their parents?

If emo grass cuts itself for you, then what do transgender picture frames do?

So, if Russia was the motherland and Germany was the fatherland, what does that mean?

The Western Front is domestic violence.

I had to go to the doctor for a prostate exam. When he stuck it in, I started to squirm, so he held onto my shoulder.

I thought it was going well, until he grabbed my other shoulder as well.

If you jump off a building and yell "parkour," how can they tell that it was intentional? T'was a failed stunt.

Hey, I’m George, and this is how to figure out if someone is a psychopath.

Go into someone’s search history, and find “Cuphead ship fanfic”.

Hey George, why do you have Russia x America countryhumans?

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?

Half of it. 🐛

This man has been through all kinda shit in his life. So one day, he finally looks at himself in the mirror and says, "If another person looks at me again, I'm going to kill myself." He looks at himself and no one ever heard from him again.

If you're fat and transgender, then would you be considered trans fat?

Tell the person next to you to spell "me." When they do, say, "You forgot the D." They should respond with, "There is no D in ME." You say, "Not yet." If this does not go as planned, well, then you are fucked for life.

If a man says you’re ugly, he likes you.

If a woman says you’re ugly, she’s just jealous.

If a child says you’re ugly, well, you’re ugly.