If jokes

I used to keep asking a woman if I can rape her until she got so annoyed and said, "Stop asking me."

Life would be so much easier if grass was emo.

Because it would cut itself.

If 6 was afraid of 7 because 7 8 9, then why was 10 afraid? Because it was right in the middle of 9/11.

What do you do if a woman is choking? Pull out a few inches.

If you think about it, the 9/11 memorial is just a scoreboard.

If you think about it, the 9/11 memorial is literally just a scoreboard.

Hey! This site has a home page, but I wonder if the orphans can see it.

"5 dollars if a fat guy can find his penis."

What do you call it if you find an old organ keyboard on the side of the road?

Organ harvesting.

I don't blame Amber Heard for wanting Elon Musk, especially if Johnny Depp is hairy and smells like a port-o-potty full of cigarettes and gunsmoke.

So little Johnny was on the bus, and the bus driver already hated him. So he started to talk to himself JUST loud enough for the bus driver to hear.

"If my dad was a bull, and my mom was a cow, that would make me... a little bull!"

"If my dad was a rooster, and my mom was a hen, that would make me... a little rooster!"

And by this point, the bus driver was fed up with him, so he said:

"Ok little Johnny, I got one for you: If your dad was a drunk, and your mom was a whore, what would that make you?"

Little Johnny smiled and said: "A bus driver!"

I just saw people writing "Zoophile," "Ailurophile," and "Dendrophilia" in their bios. I thought this was cool, but when I wrote "Necrophile" and "Pedophile," I don't know why people started hating me as if I did something wrong. I was just trying to be cool like them, man.

If there was a zombie, you would not die because you have no brain.

If 6 was afraid of 7 because 7 ate 9, then why was 10 afraid?

Because 10 was in the middle of 9/11.

I was reading a book one day when I suddenly heard a sound. It was the Grim Reaper. I ignored it and continued reading my book. Suddenly, I realized that I was one of the main characters, which, at the end, dies.

I used to like fireworks, but I'm dead now. Fireworks look like a charm if you don't mind something a little ghostly.

What lies beneath your nose and is being picked on? Your boogers.

If you're happy and you know it, f*** your mom.

If Hitler was in a car doing his salute, he would be saying, "Take the third right."

If I'm racist for voting Trump, then you're a pedophile for voting Biden.

True fact: Five out of six people think Russian roulette is safe.

(Russian roulette is a game where you put 1 bullet in a pistol that has 6 chambers; each person spins it and tries not to land on the bullet to find out if you got the bullet or not. You point the gun at yourself and pull the trigger.)

This boy in my high school choir class had a decently big forehead, so I leaned in and said, "You know, if you painted an H on your forehead, maybe Kobe would've landed."