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If I ever stuff up a post, please let me be. I do have ADHD, short-term memory disorder, and dyscalculia, so please remember that no one likes to be picked on for things that they can't control.

If you're bored, pull a Technoblade, bully orphans.

What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

We're no strangers to Aaron. You know the rules and so do I (do I). A full commitment's what I'm thinking of. You wouldn't get this from any other guy. I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling. Gotta make you understand. Never Aaron give you up. Never Aaron let you down. Never Aaron run around and desert you. Never Aaron make you cry. Never Aaron say goodbye. Never Aaron tell a lie and hurt you.

We've known each other for so long. Your heart's been aching, but you're too shy to say it (say it). Inside, we both know what's been going on (going on). We know the game and we're Aaron play it. And if you ask me how I'm feeling. Don't tell me you're too blind to see. Never Aaron give you up. Never Aaron let you down. Never Aaron run around and desert you. Never Aaron make you cry. Never Aaron say goodbye. Never Aaron tell a lie and hurt you.

Never Aaron give you up. Never Aaron let you down. Never Aaron run around and desert you. Never Aaron make you cry. Never Aaron say goodbye. Never Aaron tell a lie and hurt you.

We've known each other for so long. Your heart's been aching, but you're too shy to say it (to say it). Inside, we both know what's been going on (going on). We know the game and we're Aaron play it. I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling. Gotta make you understand. Never Aaron give you up. Never Aaron let you down. Never Aaron run around and desert you. Never Aaron make you cry. Never Aaron say goodbye. Never Aaron tell a lie and hurt you. Never Aaron give you up. Never Aaron let you down. Never Aaron run around and desert you. Never Aaron make you cry. Never Aaron say goodbye. Never Aaron tell a lie and hurt you. Never Aaron give you up. Never Aaron let you down. Never Aaron run around and desert you. Never Aaron make you cry. Never Aaron say goodbye. Never Aaron tell a lie and hurt you.

If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

Wait, they don't have any.

Dad's secretary left her position, he told me I could take it if I want it. He also told me the job pays well but there is a lot to catch up on. He kept me under the pump all week.

So your wife has died, and now she is marginally better in bed than before.

If you really want to get her to wiggle, simply add maggots.

My friend is upset with me because I sniffed his grandmother's nickers. Not sure if it was because she was still wearing them or if it was because the whole family was watching. Either way, the rest of her funeral was really awkward.

If you play the movie "Jaws" in reverse, it's a heartwarming story about a shark who gives arms and legs to disabled people.

If a blonde and a brunette jump off a building, who would hit the ground first?

The brunette, because the blonde would have to stop and ask for directions!

Little Johnny was told by his friend that if you go to your parents and say: "I know the truth," they give you money.

So Little Johnny says to his mum, "I know the truth," so his mum hands him 20 dollars and tells him not to tell anyone. So when Little Johnny’s dad gets home, Little Johnny says, "I know the truth." His dad hands him $50 and says not to tell anyone. So Little Johnny tries it on the postman and says, "I know the truth," and the postman says, "Come here, son."

If two eagles make a baby and two sparrows make a baby, what makes no baby?

Two swallows.

I lost my job by giving up my seat to someone.

I didn't know you're not supposed to do that if you're a bus driver!

If you see a woman get raped, just walk away. Don't bother helping. They're independent women, after all.