Identity jokes
I'm so gay I could barely think straight.
How do you rape a feminist? Tell her you are a woman and she will let you do whatever. You won't even need to force it.
I'm so depressed that when I smile, my Face ID doesn't recognize me.
How do you find out if your kid is gay?
Lock him in a closet and if he comes out, he's gay. If not, he's dead straight.
what do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
a family photo.
How did the black woman name her 4 babies?
Tyrone, Tyrone, Tyrone, and Tyrone.
How did she differentiate them?
She called them by their last names.
You know the difference between me and a zebra? Me neither.
Be careful what you say around Indians, the red dot means they're recording.
BTW, I am one, wahahaa!
What do you call an LGBTQ person getting grilled? LGBBQ.
I made it, DON'T COPY!!!
Q: Why can't orphans be gay?
A: They have nobody to call daddy.
Isn't it strange that the LGBTQ flag only has straight lines?
"Knock Knock!" "Who's there?" "It's Dave!"
"Dave who?"
Dave bursts into tears, realizing that his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.
So, a guy is evading the draft. The cops bang on his door, and he runs out the back, through an alleyway onto a road. He finds a nun and asks if he can hide under her blouse. She complies, and the cops walk by and don't see them. The man comes back up from under the nun's blouse and says, "Hey man, you've got a pair of balls!" The nun says, "I didn't wanna be drafted either..."
I would name my daughter Awesome so I can tell people that I'm fucking awesome.
I identify as Michael Jackson, and my pronouns are he he.
I like my men how I like my coffee...
WITHOUT A FUCKING VAGINA!
What do you call a lost Indian woman? Ms. Singh.
I saw a kid on the side of the road covered in rags and asked if he was an orphan. He said, "What gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."
Like if I am emo.
what do you call a lazy gay?
someone who comes straight out of the closet, and goes straight to the couch.