Identity jokes
Who's Joe?
Leo be like: "I like men, yes."
It's tiring being straight 24/7.
Hey girl, are you an orphan?
Oh, that’s right, I’m your daddy.
I lost $10,000, so I killed my piggy bank, so I get a real pig and money which my money is fake, but the janitor said it is real, so I killed myself and turned into a real human.
Stephanie is my name.
What do you call a gay emo kid?
Fruit Ninja.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
Not your dad.
Saint Nicholas is the patron saint of working girls. Call girls. Hookers. Prostitutes. And the association is a long one, going back to the very earliest legends which place St. Nick as a Greek bishop in Myra, Lycia in what is now the Turkish Mediterranean - three centuries after Christ.
Saint Nicholas is notable primarily for giving secretly to the poor, and supposedly the first to benefit were three young ladies whose poor father couldn't afford wedding or dowry to marry them off - destining them instead to a life of prostitution. St. Nick supposedly threw a bag of gold through the window to pay for the wedding but, by the third attempt, the poor father was watching to determine the identity of the anonymous benefactor. Santa outsmarted him by dropping the last bag of coins down the chimney.
So, whenever you see Santa, he always travels with his three favourite sex workers - who seemingly never grow old. On a quiet, still Christmas night you can even hear him call them.
Ho! Ho! Ho! And to all a good night.
What do you call an emo girl with a flat chest?
A cutting board.
Why did C.S.C. fail the trigonometry test?
Cosecant remember his own name.
Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
The bully: You're gay.
The nerd: I am.
The bully: Yeah.
The nerd: Then what are you?
How does a non-binary ninja kill someone?
They slash them.
Why do gay people only stand crooked? Cuz they can’t be straight.
Why can’t orphans be gay?
They have nobody to call "daddy."
What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1.
So, one day I walk up to my sister and tell her that she is adopted because she doesn't look like anyone in the family. She starts to cry. My mom asks why she's crying, and I say I told her she was adopted and I was there for the adoption, and we have papers. It was all a lie. She is not adopted, and everything is fine.
"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Not."
"Not who?"
"Not your dad."
My name is Gunter.
What's better, a woman or a man?
Neither, for I am WHITE.