Identity jokes

What’s the similarity between peas from Tesco and emos?

They both have barcodes.

Got into a fight last night. We both had blades. He cut me deep. I thought I was gone, but he forgot to keep the water running.

Weird thing was that we were in the fight of our lives in the restroom and that guy kinda looked like me.

Mexican jokes and black jokes are pretty much the same.

Once you've heard Juan, you've heard Jamal.

Your hairline is more bent than James Charles' gender.

My best friend looked at my arms and said, "Stop, sh*t, it's bad," then turns right around and says, "You look like a tiger."

So from here on out I am now Finn, the self-harming tiger.

A lot of things have changed since I got my girlfriend pregnant.

My name, my address, and my phone number.

Asked my dad what LGBT stands for.

He started with "Lettuce? Bacon. Tomato. What's the 'g' for?" Obviously, I had to reply with "Garnish."

I have just started a sexual relationship with a blind woman. It's very rewarding, but quite challenging.

Took me ages to get her husband's voice right.

How do orphans have a family reunion? They look in the mirror.

A man walks up to a priest. The man says, "I am Jesus Christ." The priest says, "No, you are not my son." The man says, "Follow me." The man walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Jesus Christ, you're back!"

I'm made with depression and extra anxiety, then a side of gay and a sprinkle of emo.

BLM Bisexual Lust Matters.

Me: tries to scan self at Walmart. I can't scan myself, wanna know why?

Alfred: Why?

Me: because I'm worthless... =)

One man's trash is another man's treasure... Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out you're adopted.

What is it called when an orphan takes a family photo?

A selfie.

Genders are like the twin towers. There used to be two, but now it's just a sensitive subject.

Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack can eat her candy. He got sick when he got a mouthful of dick and realized her name was Randy.

Why can't you solve a murder in Alabama?

All the DNA is identical and there are no dental records.

The twin towers are like genders, there used to be two of them.

In my mother's generation, they grew up with Wonder Woman. In ours, we have to wonder if she's a woman.