Identity jokes

What’s the similarity between peas from Tesco and emos?

They both have barcodes.

Got into a fight last night. We both had blades. He cut me deep. I thought I was gone, but he forgot to keep the water running.

Weird thing was that we were in the fight of our lives in the restroom and that guy kinda looked like me.

Your hairline is more bent than James Charles' gender.

What do you call a single bisexual?

All bi myself.

What do you call 2 octopuses that look exactly the same? -- Identical.

What do you call a Mexican who lost his car?

- Carlos.

Mexican jokes and black jokes are pretty much the same.

Once you've heard Juan, you've heard Jamal.

I have just started a sexual relationship with a blind woman. It's very rewarding, but quite challenging.

Took me ages to get her husband's voice right.

How do orphans have a family reunion? They look in the mirror.

A man walks up to a priest. The man says, "I am Jesus Christ." The priest says, "No, you are not my son." The man says, "Follow me." The man walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Jesus Christ, you're back!"

I'm made with depression and extra anxiety, then a side of gay and a sprinkle of emo.

Asked my dad what LGBT stands for.

He started with "Lettuce? Bacon. Tomato. What's the 'g' for?" Obviously, I had to reply with "Garnish."

BLM Bisexual Lust Matters.

Me: tries to scan self at Walmart. I can't scan myself, wanna know why?

Alfred: Why?

Me: because I'm worthless... =)

What is it called when an orphan takes a family photo?

A selfie.

Genders are like the twin towers. There used to be two, but now it's just a sensitive subject.

One man's trash is another man's treasure... Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out you're adopted.

In my mother's generation, they grew up with Wonder Woman. In ours, we have to wonder if she's a woman.

The twin towers are like genders, there used to be two of them.

"what's that on your wrist?"

"I'm a cutting board. duh"