Identity

Identity jokes

Pea

What’s the similarity between peas from Tesco and emos?

They both have barcodes.

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  • Fight

    Got into a fight last night. We both had blades. He cut me deep. I thought I was gone, but he forgot to keep the water running.

    Weird thing was that we were in the fight of our lives in the restroom and that guy kinda looked like me.

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  • Stereotype

    Mexican jokes and black jokes are pretty much the same.

    Once you've heard Juan, you've heard Jamal.

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  • Memes

    Pregnancy

    A lot of things have changed since I got my girlfriend pregnant.

    My name, my address, and my phone number.

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  • Sexual Relationship

    I have just started a sexual relationship with a blind woman. It's very rewarding, but quite challenging.

    Took me ages to get her husband's voice right.

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  • Lgbt

    Asked my dad what LGBT stands for.

    He started with "Lettuce? Bacon. Tomato. What's the 'g' for?" Obviously, I had to reply with "Garnish."

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  • Jesus Christ

    A man walks up to a priest. The man says, "I am Jesus Christ." The priest says, "No, you are not my son." The man says, "Follow me." The man walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Jesus Christ, you're back!"

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  • Scan

    Me: tries to scan self at Walmart. I can't scan myself, wanna know why?

    Alfred: Why?

    Me: because I'm worthless... =)

    Adoption

    One man's trash is another man's treasure... Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out you're adopted.

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  • Gender

    Genders are like the twin towers. There used to be two, but now it's just a sensitive subject.

    Murder

    Why can't you solve a murder in Alabama?

    All the DNA is identical and there are no dental records.

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  • Wonder Woman

    In my mother's generation, they grew up with Wonder Woman. In ours, we have to wonder if she's a woman.

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