What does BLM stand for?
Bisexual Lives Matter.
Me: Are you an orphan?
Boy: Yeah, what gave me away?
Me: ....ur parents.
Neo-Confederates all claim to be about "heritage" not "hate". Well, if your heritage consists of Kelly Clarkson, riding on siblings, and treating Donald Trump as if he's the second coming, then it really sucks to be you.
Grammar: It's the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you're shit.
Why did the turkey cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn’t a chicken!
Why can't orphans be gay?
They have no one to call "daddy."
What do you call two transgender midgets having sex?
A microtransaction.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They have no one to call daddy.
Why can't you solve a murder in Alabama?
All the DNA is identical and there are no dental records.
Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack can eat her candy. He got sick when he got a mouthful of dick and realized her name was Randy.
What do you call an orphan taking a family photo? A selfie.
What do you call an orphan taking a picture with it's family?
A self-fie.
What do you call a depressed person?
Me.
Why did the transgender girl want to be a boy?
Because momma never raised no pussy.
After long consideration, I've decided to get a zebra tattoo on my wrist. Not like anyone will notice the difference.
A baby skunk's mother gets hit by a car, so the baby skunk doesn't know what he is.
So the baby skunk walks up to a baby bunny and asks, "What are you?" The baby bunny replies, "Well, I'm a baby bunny. What are you?" The baby skunk says, "Well, I don't know, am I a baby bunny too?"
The baby bunny says, "No, you're not a baby bunny." So the baby skunk asks, "Well, what am I then?"
The baby bunny replies, "Well, you're not exactly blank and you're not exactly white, so you must be Mexican."
A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde.
The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.
'What does it look like?' she finally asked. The policewoman replied, 'It's square and it has you picture on it.'
The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. 'Here it is,' she said.
The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "OK, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop..."
What is it called when an orphan takes a selfie?
Family photo.
The more emos there are, the less emos there are.
You know what me and my spine both have in common? We are both not straight.
