Identity jokes

Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack can eat her candy. He got sick when he got a mouthful of dick and realized her name was Randy.

What does BLM stand for?

Bisexual Lives Matter.

What is it called when an orphan takes a selfie?

Family photo.

Me: Are you an orphan?

Boy: Yeah, what gave me away?

Me: ....ur parents.

Neo-Confederates all claim to be about "heritage" not "hate". Well, if your heritage consists of Kelly Clarkson, riding on siblings, and treating Donald Trump as if he's the second coming, then it really sucks to be you.

Why did the turkey cross the road twice?

To prove he wasn’t a chicken!

Why can't orphans be gay?

They have no one to call "daddy."

What do you call two transgender midgets having sex?

A microtransaction.

Why can't orphans be gay?

They have no one to call daddy.

What do you call an orphan taking a picture with it's family?

A self-fie.

What do you call an orphan taking a family photo? A selfie.

Grammar: It's the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you're shit.

What do you call a depressed person?

Me.

Did you hear about the lesbian midget? She probably came out of the cabinet.

I used to have confidence issues because of my learning disability.

Until someone told me I put the sexy in dyslexia.

I only cut to find out if I'm real or cake.

After long consideration, I've decided to get a zebra tattoo on my wrist. Not like anyone will notice the difference.

A baby skunk's mother gets hit by a car, so the baby skunk doesn't know what he is.

So the baby skunk walks up to a baby bunny and asks, "What are you?" The baby bunny replies, "Well, I'm a baby bunny. What are you?" The baby skunk says, "Well, I don't know, am I a baby bunny too?"

The baby bunny says, "No, you're not a baby bunny." So the baby skunk asks, "Well, what am I then?"

The baby bunny replies, "Well, you're not exactly blank and you're not exactly white, so you must be Mexican."

The more emos there are, the less emos there are.

A drunk walks into a bar and says, "All lawyers are assholes!" A guy at the other end of the bar says, "I resent that!" The drunk says, "Why, are you a lawyer?" and the other guy says, "No, I'm an asshole!"