Ice jokes
How does a penguin build a house?
Igloos it together.
What did the man say after he slipped and fell on the ice? Nothing, he just gave everyone the cold shoulder.
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets.
There were four men eating dinner on the Titanic when it hit the iceberg.
The waiter said, "We have to get to the lifeboats!"
The teacher said, "What about the kids?"
The lawyer said, "Fuck the kids."
The priest said, "Do you think we'll have time?"
A guy goes ice fishing for the very first time. All of a sudden, he hears a voice. “There are no fish under the ice!”
He ignores it and moves to another area, cuts a hole, and tosses his line in. Again, he hears the booming voice: “There are no fish under the ice!”
He nervously looks up and asks, “Lord? Is that you?”
“No, this is the rink manager!”
Worst punishment of all
What is the difference between a woman and ice? The ice always comes back.
Your hairline is so curvy now, Ice Spice has competition!
You must be ice cream because I wanna lick you up.
Did you know that they are making a movie about the four boys who lost their lives on the ice? They're calling the movie "The Lost Boys."
How to make white ice cream red... blend a baby into it!
What did the icicle say to the snow?
"Why do you have to be so soft?"
Why did the child drop their ice cream?
They got hit by a bus.
Q: Why doesn't Jesus play hockey?
A: He hates getting nailed to the boards.
What does a Mexican not like in their drink? Ice.
Teacher, there are 3 birds. 1 gets shot. How many are left?
Student, none. They flew off because the shot scared them off.
Teacher, actually 2, but I like the way you think.
5 minutes later
Student, there are 3 women eating ice cream. 1 is licking it, 1 is drinking it melted, and 1 is sucking it. Which one is married?
Teacher, the one sucking it?
Student, no, the one with the ring, but I like the way you think.
Why did Susan drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus.
Kid: I have the corona virus!
Nurse: Here is an ice pack.
The Twin Towers are like snowmen; they fall and crumble.
Snover1: You can't pass through Snow Way!
Squirtle: Why can't I pass through Snow Way?
Snover1: There's snow in the way.
Snover2: Yeah, you can't get past through the snow while it's on the way, to continuous.
Squirtle: What? There's snow in here the whole time. What is this? Snow Society?!
"AAAAARRRGGH!!"
Squirtle: Who is that?
Snover2: That is Snow.
Squirtle: What?! That giant snow tree thing is Abomasnow!
Snover2: Oops! Don't be a Halt!
"Haaaaaaaaallllltttt!!!"
"Aaaaaauuuuggghhhh!"
Snovers: That was a JOKE, Squirtle be FROZEN, just let it go, let it go!
Q: What's a ship's least favorite food? A: Iceburg-ers