Ice jokes
Little Johnny walked into an ice cream shop and asked: "Do you have chocolate filled ice cream?"
The man replies: "We are out of that, sorry, we are almost out of every single flavor, do you want me to get you a vanilla filled one?"
Johnny replies: "Sure."
After that, the man asks for Johnny's phone and goes to back of the store. 5 minutes later, the man comes with an ice cream and Johnny's phone.
Johnny asks: "How much for the ice cream?"
The man replies: "Nothing, it's on the house."
After Johnny ate his delicious ice cream, he searched for his watch history. And then Johnny realized the flavor of the ice cream.
How does a penguin build a house?
Igloos it together.
There were four men eating dinner on the Titanic when it hit the iceberg.
The waiter said, "We have to get to the lifeboats!"
The teacher said, "What about the kids?"
The lawyer said, "Fuck the kids."
The priest said, "Do you think we'll have time?"
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets.
What did the man say after he slipped and fell on the ice? Nothing, he just gave everyone the cold shoulder.
Worst punishment of all
A guy goes ice fishing for the very first time. All of a sudden, he hears a voice. “There are no fish under the ice!”
He ignores it and moves to another area, cuts a hole, and tosses his line in. Again, he hears the booming voice: “There are no fish under the ice!”
He nervously looks up and asks, “Lord? Is that you?”
“No, this is the rink manager!”
How to make white ice cream red... blend a baby into it!
Did you know that they are making a movie about the four boys who lost their lives on the ice? They're calling the movie "The Lost Boys."
What did the icicle say to the snow?
"Why do you have to be so soft?"
Why did the child drop their ice cream?
They got hit by a bus.
What is the difference between a woman and ice? The ice always comes back.
Your hairline is so curvy now, Ice Spice has competition!
You must be ice cream because I wanna lick you up.
Q: Why doesn't Jesus play hockey?
A: He hates getting nailed to the boards.
A man is on his death sentence, and he gets to choose his last meal.
He asks his guard for a McDonald's Ice Cream, and lives a very long life. They never found a working machine.
What does a Mexican not like in their drink? Ice.
Teacher, there are 3 birds. 1 gets shot. How many are left?
Student, none. They flew off because the shot scared them off.
Teacher, actually 2, but I like the way you think.
5 minutes later
Student, there are 3 women eating ice cream. 1 is licking it, 1 is drinking it melted, and 1 is sucking it. Which one is married?
Teacher, the one sucking it?
Student, no, the one with the ring, but I like the way you think.
Why did Susan drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus.
Kid: I have the corona virus!
Nurse: Here is an ice pack.
The Twin Towers are like snowmen; they fall and crumble.