Ice jokes
A gingerbread man walks into the doctor’s office with a broken arm. He asks the doctor, “Doc, what should I do? My arm is broken!”
The doctor then looks at him and says, “Have you tried icing?”
How do rappers stay cool?
They have MAD ICE!
What is old, cold, and alone?
An orphan's parents.
What do an ice cream cone and a Ukrainian orphanage have in common?
Children scream when they melt.
I drip when you take me in the mouth, what am I? Ice cream.
Boy: "Hey mom, can we have ice cream?"
Orphan: "What's a mom?"
How do rappers stay cool in the summer?
They drop ICE COLD rhymes.
What is a Mexican's least favorite type of water?
I.C.E. water.
Why did the boy drop his ice cream?
He got hit by a bus.
Little Johnny was living with his grandpa during the summer. Well, grandpa had a beer, and Johnny said, "Grandpa, let me get a sip of that." Grandpa said, "Well, lil Johnny, does your d**k reach your a**?" And lil Johnny said, "Well no sir." And grandpa said, then no, you can't.
Later that day, papaw (grandpa) had a cigar, and Johnny said let me get a hit of that, and papaw asked, "Well, Johnny, does your d**k reach your a**?" And Johnny said no again. Then papaw was shooting his gun, and Johnny asked if he could shoot it, and grandpa asked Johnny if his d**k reached his a**, and Johnny said no.
Well, after supper, Johnny's grandma made Johnny some ice cream (the most amazing bowl of ice cream EVER), and grandpa said, "Johnny, let me get a bit of that ice cream," and Johnny asked papaw, "Well, papaw, does your d**k reach your a**?" And papaw said, "Well, Johnny, as a matter of a fact, it does," and Johnny said, "Good, now go f**k yourself because you ain't getting none of my ice cream!"
Q: Why did Billy drop his ice cream cone?
A: He has turrets.
What do you call a wizard who uses Ice Magic? A: A Blizzard!
If you think vanilla and chocolate ice cream is just light and dark mode.
What do snow and friends have in common? If you pee on them, they disappear.
- Dude, what is your favorite rapper?
- He is very cold-blooded.
- Why?
- He is Ice Cube.
Yo mama so fat, when she was just there, she made the whole earth go back to the ice age!
I was out ice fishing and had no nibbles all morning.
About noon, this old guy comes out, drills a hole near mine, and starts catching fish as fast as he can bait the hook. I was getting frustrated without any luck, so I went over to ask him his secret. He said "Ymd ggt tm kppp tth yaems womg."
I said, "Excuse me, I didn't get that?" so he mumbles even louder, "Ymd ggt tm kppp tth yaems womg!" I shook my head and said, "I'm sorry, but I still didn't understand what you said."
Frustrated, the man spits out a wad out of his mouth and says, "YOU HAVE TO KEEP THE WORMS WARM!"
What did one iceberg say to the other iceberg as the Titanic went by?
"I'd smash that."
What do superheroes put in their drinks?
Just ice.
How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?
You pay the ice cream man to keep on driving. IDK.