There were four men eating dinner on the Titanic when it hit the iceberg.
The waiter said, "We have to get to the lifeboats!"
The teacher said, "What about the kids?"
The lawyer said, "Fuck the kids."
The priest said, "Do you think we'll have time?"
Ice Jokes
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite hobby?
Rolling on ice.
I'm so jealous of babies with anencephaly.
They can eat all the ice cream they want and never get brain freezes.
What do ICE and Mexican drug cartels both have in common?
They both kidnap Canadian women!
ICE and ISIS have similar first syllables. Coincidence? I think not!
An ICE agent tells a Mexican that he can get his green card if he can use green, pink, and yellow correctly in a sentence. The Mexican thinks for a minute and says, "My phone goes green, green, and I pink it up and say yellow."
Why did the autistic ice cream run away from the party?
She had a meltdown.
Why was the rapper cold in the recording studio?
Because his bars were ice.
In honor of Diddy:
The ice cream machine at McDonald's now works!
Why did Little Johnny drop his ice cream?
Because he got hit by a bus.
You must be ice cream because I wanna lick you up.
Did Walmart take the Juneteenth ice cream off the shelf?
It was only 3/5 full.
If Joe Biden was on stage and he heard gunshots, he probably would’ve thought it was the ice cream truck.
You know how Joe Biden is happy?
When he is rubbing a little girls' shoulders and eating ice cream.
What do you call a rapper who LOVES winter sports?
Ice Cube.
How do rappers stay cool?
They have MAD ICE!
Why did the rapper go to the dentist?
To get his ICE checked.
How do you find a rapper in a snowstorm?
Look for the one with the "ICE-COLD RHYMES."
How do rappers stay warm in the winter?
They wear their ice chains.
How do rappers stay cool?
They use RAP-SICLES.