Ice jokes
Where do you learn to make ice cream? -- Sundae school.
Russian Santa Claus- You better watch out, You better not cry, cause if you do I will stab your fucking eye, Russian Santa Claus does not fuck around. He's making a list, He's checking it twice... You better leave out some Vodka with ice!
What do you call it when a snowman throws a tantrum?
A meltdown.
What did one iceberg say to the other iceberg as the Titanic went by?
"I'd smash that."
Chuck Norris can make a fire with two ice cubes.
A Down syndrome kid asks for an ice cream. The man asks, "Do you want sauce on it?"
The kid says, "It doesn’t matter, I’m going to drop it anyway!" 😂😂😂
Why did the kid drop his ice cream?
He got hit by a bus.
What do you call a kid who's been kidnapped?
Well, her name's Sally, so I guess... Sally. My main concern is getting her out of the freezer.
In honor of Diddy:
The ice cream machine at McDonald's now works!
How did the hipster drown?
He ice-skated before it was cool.
Boy: "Hey mom, can we have ice cream?"
Orphan: "What's a mom?"
What does a queen want on her cookie?
Royal Icing.
A is for Amy who fell down the stairs.
B is for Basil assaulted by bears.
C is for Clara who wasted away.
D is for Desmond thrown out of a sleigh.
E is for Ernest who choked on a peach.
F is for Fanny sucked dry by a leech.
G is for George smothered under a rug.
H is for Hector done in by a thug.
I is for Ida who drowned in a lake.
J is for James who took lye by mistake.
K is for Kate who was struck with an axe.
L is for Leo who swallowed some tacks.
M is for Maud who was swept out to sea.
N is for Neville who died of ennui.
O is for Olive run through with an awl.
P is for Prue trampled flat in a brawl.
Q is for Quentin who sank in a mire.
R is for Rhoda consumed by a fire.
S is for Susan who perished of fits.
T is for Titus who flew into bits.
U is for Una who slipped down a drain.
V is for Victor squashed under a train.
W is for Winnie embedded in ice.
X is for Xerxes devoured by mice.
Y is for Yorick whose head was knocked in.
Z is for Zillah who drank too much gin.
What song did the Titanic victims listen to as they died?
Ice, Ice Baby!!
Hell hates freezers, England, and soccer.
What do an ice cream cone and a Ukrainian orphanage have in common?
Children scream when they melt.
What do snow and friends have in common? If you pee on them, they disappear.
Wanted to get the scoop on history of ice cream, so I went to Sunday school.
What's the difference between a snow woman and snow man?
Snowballs.
Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.