Ice jokes
The sun is out, and the pedo vans are out.
Parents, keep your kids away from ice cream vans. Once they hear the sound, you'll never see your kids again!
There were four men eating dinner on the Titanic when it hit the iceberg.
The waiter said, "We have to get to the lifeboats!"
The teacher said, "What about the kids?"
The lawyer said, "Fuck the kids."
The priest said, "Do you think we'll have time?"
Why'd Sally drop her ice cream?
She was hit by a bus.
Kid: I have the corona virus!
Nurse: Here is an ice pack.
What do penguins 🐧 eat for lunch?
Freeze burgers.
Memes
Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
Because she’ll let it goo!
Roses are red, Obama is well spoken, I'm sorry sir, but the ice cream machine is broken.
How do you catch a polar bear?
Cut a hole in the ice, put peas around it, when the polar bear goes to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole.
Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?
He got ran over by a bus.
In memory of Michael Jackson, various ice cream companies are introducing the Jackson Chocolate ice cream. It is either 50 year old cream mixed in with 10 year old nuts, or 7 year old vanilla ice cream with 50 year old chocolate drizzled on 4 year old tiny nuts.
I asked the Titanic an icebreaker question.
It couldn't answer.
How do you make a body disappear?
You use an axe, black plastic bags, a forest, a shovel, and some ice cream because killing someone and chopping them up and digging holes in the ground and putting dirt over them is a lot of hard work!
P.S., I'm joking and don't condone these actions.
If you put ice cream on the nutty brownie, you’re serving it a la mode.
Why don't Mexicans like winter? They're afraid of ice.
Why can't you get water in the North Pole?
Because there is no well.
I got a bowl of rice that you're formed like, an ice cube.
If you think vanilla and chocolate ice cream is just light and dark mode.
I drip when you take me in the mouth, what am I? Ice cream.
Why did the North Tower want chocolate ice cream?
Because he didn't want plane.
Michael J. Fox walks into an ice cream parlor.
The man behind the counter asks Michael, "Can I help you?"
Michael exclaims, "I would like an ice cream."
The man behind the counter asks, "What flavor?"
Michael says, "It doesn't matter what flavor, I'm gonna fucken drop it anyway."