Ice Jokes

Wanted to get the scoop on history of ice cream, so I went to Sunday school.

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by bus

Why did the little girl's ice cream melt?

She was on fire.

What do an ice cream cone and a Ukrainian Orphage have in common?

Children scream when they melt.

Little Johhny is walking around and peaks in his parents room, catching them having sex so he asks, "What are you guys doing?" and they reply "Nothing, nothing! we're just uh, making cake" and they send him away. So he continues walking around and he hears some strange noises coming from his brothers room so he walks in and catches his brother and his brothers girlfriend having sex and then asks him "What are you guys doing?" and his brother yells "Get out! were making cake!" So Johnny leaves and goes to his room. The next day the whole family is at the dinner table and Little Johnny turns to his sister and says "So, you and your boyfriend were making cake last night huh!" and she replies "OMG! Howd you know!?!?" and Johnny replies "Because, I licked the icing off the couch" ayyyyyy.

How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?

You pay the ice cream man to keep on driving.

IDK

What did the snowman ⛄️ eat after dinner?

Ice cream 🍨.

Ice cream truck drivers are the most sus people on earth. They’re adults who play children’s music, and give ice cream to kids who approach their van.

You guys are better than a triple-scoop ice cream cone...with sprinkles.”

Why do orphans eat a ice cream cone?? they cant get a afford a family pack

I was out ice fishing, and had no nibbles all morning. About noon, this old guy comes out, drills a hole near mine, and starts catching fish as fast as he can bait the hook. I was getting frustrated without any luck, so I went over to ask him his secret. He said "Ymd ggt tm kppp tth yaems womg." I said "Excuse,me, I didn't get that?" so he mumbles even louder, "Ymd ggt tm kppp tth yaems womg!" I shook my head and said "I'm sorry, but I still didn't understand what you said." Frustrated, the man spits out a wad out of his mouth and says "YOU HAVE TO KEEP THE WORMS WARM!"

Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb In the shape of an "L" on her forehead

Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running Didn't make sense not to live for fun Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb

So much to do, so much to see So what's wrong with taking the back streets? You'll never know if you don't go You'll never shine if you don't glow

[Chorus:] Hey, now, you're an All Star, get your game on, go play Hey, now, you're a Rock Star, get the show on, get paid And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold

It's a cool place and they say it gets colder You're bundled up now wait 'til you get older But the meteor men beg to differ Judging by the hole in the satellite picture

The ice we skate is getting pretty thin The water's getting warm so you might as well swim My world's on fire. How about yours? That's the way I like it and I'll never get bored.

[Chorus 2x]

Somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas I need to get myself away from this place I said yep, what a concept I could use a little fuel myself And we could all use a little change

Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running Didn't make sense not to live for fun Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb

So much to do, so much to see So what's wrong with taking the back streets? You'll never know if you don't go You'll never shine if you don't glow.

[Chorus]

And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold

Snover1:You can't pass through Snow Way!

Squirtle: Why I can't pass through Snow Way?

Snover1: There's snow in the way.

Snover2:Yeah, you can't get past through the snow while it's on the way, to continous.

Squirtle: What? There's snow in here the whole time. What is this? Snow Society-?!

"AAAAARRRGGH!!"

Squirtle:Who is that?

Snover2:That is Snow.

Squirtle:What?! That is giant snow tree thing is Abomasnow!

Snover2:Oops! Don't be a Halt!

"Haaaaaaaaallllltttt!!!"

"Aaaaaauuuuggghhhh!"

Snovers: That was a JOKE, Squirtle be FROZEN, just let it go, let it go!

How to make a white ice cream red.. blend a baby into it

How do you turn a Chinese into a American? Put a bag of ice on their eyes.

Why did Susan drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus

The sun is out and the peado vans are out. Parents, keep your kids away from ice cream vans. Once they hear the sound, you'll never see your kids again.