Ice jokes
There were four men eating dinner on the Titanic when it hit the iceberg.
The waiter said, "We have to get to the lifeboats!"
The teacher said, "What about the kids?"
The lawyer said, "Fuck the kids."
The priest said, "Do you think we'll have time?"
Why'd Sally drop her ice cream?
She was hit by a bus.
What do penguins 🐧 eat for lunch?
Freeze burgers.
Roses are red, Obama is well spoken, I'm sorry sir, but the ice cream machine is broken.
Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
Because she’ll let it goo!
Memes
I'm so jealous of babies with anencephaly.
They can eat all the ice cream they want and never get brain freezes.
How do you catch a polar bear?
Cut a hole in the ice, put peas around it, when the polar bear goes to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole.
In memory of Michael Jackson, various ice cream companies are introducing the Jackson Chocolate ice cream. It is either 50 year old cream mixed in with 10 year old nuts, or 7 year old vanilla ice cream with 50 year old chocolate drizzled on 4 year old tiny nuts.
Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?
He got ran over by a bus.
Why was the Mexican scared of cold water?
It might turn into ICE.
I got a bowl of rice that you're formed like, an ice cube.
If you think vanilla and chocolate ice cream is just light and dark mode.
How do you make a body disappear?
You use an axe, black plastic bags, a forest, a shovel, and some ice cream because killing someone and chopping them up and digging holes in the ground and putting dirt over them is a lot of hard work!
P.S., I'm joking and don't condone these actions.
Why don't Mexicans like winter? They're afraid of ice.
I asked the Titanic an icebreaker question.
It couldn't answer.
Why can't you get water in the North Pole?
Because there is no well.
I drip when you take me in the mouth, what am I? Ice cream.
Michael J. Fox walks into an ice cream parlor.
The man behind the counter asks Michael, "Can I help you?"
Michael exclaims, "I would like an ice cream."
The man behind the counter asks, "What flavor?"
Michael says, "It doesn't matter what flavor, I'm gonna fucken drop it anyway."
If you put ice cream on the nutty brownie, you’re serving it a la mode.
What's the food orphans can't eat?
Family-sized ice cream.