Ice jokes
The sun is out, and the pedo vans are out.
Parents, keep your kids away from ice cream vans. Once they hear the sound, you'll never see your kids again!
Why'd Sally drop her ice cream?
She was hit by a bus.
Kid: I have the corona virus!
Nurse: Here is an ice pack.
What do penguins 🐧 eat for lunch?
Freeze burgers.
Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
Because she’ll let it goo!
Memes
Roses are red, Obama is well spoken, I'm sorry sir, but the ice cream machine is broken.
How do you catch a polar bear?
Cut a hole in the ice, put peas around it, when the polar bear goes to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole.
In memory of Michael Jackson, various ice cream companies are introducing the Jackson Chocolate ice cream. It is either 50 year old cream mixed in with 10 year old nuts, or 7 year old vanilla ice cream with 50 year old chocolate drizzled on 4 year old tiny nuts.
Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?
He got ran over by a bus.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite hobby?
Rolling on ice.
Did Walmart take the Juneteenth ice cream off the shelf?
It was only 3/5 full.
I asked the Titanic an icebreaker question.
It couldn't answer.
Why can't you get water in the North Pole?
Because there is no well.
I drip when you take me in the mouth, what am I? Ice cream.
Me explaining to the school nurse that ice can't cure everything.
Nurse: hOW DaRe yOu OpPosE mE mORtAl!
Someone said to me when it was winter it[’]s time for you to “chill out.” I was like 👁👄👁
Why did the North Tower want chocolate ice cream?
Because he didn't want plane.
I got a bowl of rice that you're formed like, an ice cube.
If you think vanilla and chocolate ice cream is just light and dark mode.
If you put ice cream on the nutty brownie, you’re serving it a la mode.