Arctic jokes
Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snowbank!
If something doesn't make sense to an Eskimo... is it counterINUITive?
Beethoven to Chris Doemges: "What instrument do you play outside in the Arctic at -12 degrees Celsius?"
Doemges: "Probably the shiver..."
Yo mama so fat that every time she takes a swim, the Arctic sinks by a mile!
What's a penguin's favorite relative?
Aunt Arctic.
Why can't you get water in the North Pole?
Because there is no well.
How does a penguin (however you spell it) build a house? Igloos it together!
What do you call an Eskimo stripper?
A frosty-tute.
Mom: Anna, let your younger brother have the sled one half of the time, and you the other half. That way it will all be fair, and I don't have to put up with this crying. I've already got seven others to take care of.
Anna: I do, Mom. I have Fred (younger brother) go up, and I go down!
Mom: Good. Now how 'bout the rest of you go play outside? It's beautiful out there! It's the warmest it's been all year, 45 degrees below 0!
Kids: Wow! I never thought it would warm up! I love Alaska!
In Antarctica, there are ice dicks for ladies to hop onto.
Little do they know I've been waiting for this moment.
I guess Canada's national igloo is melting because of global warming.
What do you call a gay person in Antarctica?
Bi-Polar.
How do you catch a polar bear?
Cut a hole in the ice, put peas around it, when the polar bear goes to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole.