Arctic jokes
What's a penguin's favorite relative?
Aunt Arctic.
How does a penguin (however you spell it) build a house? Igloos it together!
How do you catch a polar bear?
Cut a hole in the ice, put peas around it, when the polar bear goes to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole.
Why can't you get water in the North Pole?
Because there is no well.
Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snowbank!
If something doesn't make sense to an Eskimo... is it counterINUITive?
What do you call an Eskimo stripper?
A frosty-tute.
Beethoven to Chris Doemges: "What instrument do you play outside in the Arctic at -12 degrees Celsius?"
Doemges: "Probably the shiver..."
Yo mama so fat that every time she takes a swim, the Arctic sinks by a mile!