Ice jokes
What do an ice cream cone and a Ukrainian orphanage have in common?
Children scream when they melt.
Alabama gene pools are so shallow, when they freeze over, it's just snow.
What's a penguin's favorite relative?
Aunt Arctic.
Why did they call off the leper hockey game?
There was a face-off in the corner.
How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?
You pay the ice cream man to keep on driving. IDK.
Titanic walks into a bar. Britannic: "What would you like to drink?" Titanic: "An iceberg."
Ice cream truck drivers are the most sus people on earth. They’re adults who play children’s music and give ice cream to kids who approach their van.
What do ICE and Mexican drug cartels both have in common?
They both kidnap Canadian women!
What falls and never gets hurt? Snow.
I like penguins.
Why is it so hard to make friends in Antarctica?
Because you cannot break the ice.
What is old, cold, and alone?
An orphan's parents.
You guys are better than a triple-scoop ice cream cone... with sprinkles!
How do you turn a Chinese person into an American? Put a bag of ice on their eyes.
There were four men eating dinner on the Titanic when it hit the iceberg.
The waiter said, "We have to get to the lifeboats!"
The teacher said, "What about the kids?"
The lawyer said, "Fuck the kids."
The priest said, "Do you think we'll have time?"
How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it together!
Why do orphans eat an ice cream cone?? They can't afford a family pack.
Joe: What do the Leafs and the Titanic have in common?
Ben: I don't know.
Joe: They both look good until they hit the ice.
What goes inside and comes out wet?
What do you call a skeleton in the snow? A numb skull.