Humor
If you are American in the living room, what are you in the bathroom?
Euro-peein'.
Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere!
What's worse than Sally in a trash can? Sally in thirteen trash cans.
Why doesn't China have a cricket team?
They always eat the bat.
For sale: Dead canary.
Not going cheep.
What do you get when you mix up a group of emos?
Suicide squad.
There was a person who sent ten different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
My wife left me for an Indian guy. I know he's going to treat her well, I heard they worship cows.
Q: What did the cannibal shout when his friend fell on the floor?
A: "FIVE SECOND RULE!"
A woman decides to take a well-earned vacation, and she asks her brother to watch her cat while she's away.
On the second day, when she calls her brother to see how things are going, he tells her bluntly that the cat is dead.
The woman is really upset and goes into hysterics, before saying, "You can't tell a person bad news so bluntly. You should break the news gently. The first day, you should have said that Fluffy was stuck on the roof and couldn't get down. The second day, you could have said that she had fallen, but the vet said she would be okay. Then on the third day, you could have said that she died from complications."
The next day, the woman calls her brother again and asks how things are. He says, "Well, Grandma is stuck on the roof and can't get down..."
Back in Australia, my puns are high koala-tea!
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because his wife changed the WiFi password.
The joke above me sucks.
What is the pedophile's favorite shoe?
White vans.
What did the doctor say to the Chinese patient? "Sum ting wong."
I don't always roll a joint, but when I do, it's my ankle.
For all the people with Covid-19, I just want to say... Stay positive.
Autistic jokes have been very popular recently. In other words, I've been very popular recently.
How did the Shaggy defense become successful for JD Vance?
He was not banging on the sofa. Rather, he was banging the sofa!
What do you call it when a snowman throws a tantrum?
A meltdown.
Dad: "Son, does mommy like having lady-friends over?"
Son: "Nah, mostly men."
Dad: "Do you think you'd be comfortable telling that to a judge in court?"