Humor
I don't always roll a joint, but when I do, it's my ankle.
What do you call it when a snowman throws a tantrum?
A meltdown.
So I didn't want my mom going through my laptop, so I put a touch screen on it where you just have to tap the screen to unlock it. Jokes on her, she doesn't have any fingers.
Why do short people laugh when they run?
Because the grass tickles their balls.
Dad: "Son, does mommy like having lady-friends over?"
Son: "Nah, mostly men."
Dad: "Do you think you'd be comfortable telling that to a judge in court?"
Memes
Autistic jokes have been very popular recently. In other words, I've been very popular recently.
How did the Shaggy defense become successful for JD Vance?
He was not banging on the sofa. Rather, he was banging the sofa!
Why don't you ever see hippos hiding in trees? Because they are really good at it.
My wife left me for an Indian guy. I know he's going to treat her well, I heard they worship cows.
Me: Wanna hear a joke about my chin?
Friend: Nah, dude. It'll be too long.
What's white, sticky, and better to spit out then to swallow?
Toothpaste.
My friends were worried that I was making suicide jokes so much, so I said, "Don't worry, you won't have to hear them much longer."
I once fought with a man in a wheelchair.
He couldn't stand a chance.
When Kenney goes down on his mom, does he taste vegetable or fish?
Why do dwarfs hate fast food restaurants? Cause most of them have medium and large.
If things don't get better, the Christmas lights won't be the only thing hanging.
Question: Why did Donald Trump convert to Judaism?
Answer: Because he heard that Vladimir Putin likes to drink vodka with "Orange Jews"!
Enough with the Nazi jokes.
They make me führeious!
Dad: Hey son, wanna hear a joke?
Son: Sure thing, dad!
Dad: Your mother and I are getting a divorce. She found out that I was sleeping with the neighbor's dog!
Son: I don't get the joke, dad.
Dad: It's my life, son! My life is the joke.
Mom: Are you seriously gonna die?
Me: No. Don't worry. Suicide is the last thing I'll do.