Humor

What do you call an Indian going through the bins?

RUM-MAJINGG

How many men does it take to open a bottle of beer?

A: None, it should be opened by the time she brings it.

What's the difference between a rubber and Michael Jackson? Nothing, kids touch them both.

Someone: Stop making jokes about sh!

Me: Oh, sorry man, I'll cut it out, I'll cut it out deep!

What do you call a prostitute with no arms or legs?

Cash and carry.

Copy and paste in your search bar to see watersharky's worst picture on HIS OWN DOCS.

What do you call six gay men at war? Rainbow Six Siege.

Me: Wanna hear a joke?

Person: Sure.

Me: Never mind, I was gonna say my life, but my life isn't a joke! Jokes have meaning.

Person: Dear God...

What do you call a girl skeleton dancing?

A bone-étit.

The dark side of kid songs:

You got a friend in me... you got a friend in me!

The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you're signing someone's cast.

To avoid getting drafted, a young man slips into a nunnery to hide from some draft board agents who are after him. Desperate, he approaches a nun and asks her to hide him.

“Get under my robes,” says the nun. “No one will look for you there.” The nun lifts up her robes and the man says, “Hey, that’s a fine pair of legs you have there, sister.”

“Yeah, well if you look a bit higher you’ll see a fine set of balls,” replies the nun. “I didn't want to get drafted either.”

We wrote letters to a kid with cancer.

My letter read, "It's a bumpy road, but soon you will have a straight path."

People didn't realize it was meant for his heart monitor. Lol.

What did Michael Scott say to someone when he passed a plate of vegetables?

Boom! Roasted!

Why do orphans hate Geometry?

Because it reminds them that their parents are poley-gone.

I know this is a very corny joke.

"A N N O Y I N G - D O G - R O B - Y O U R - S A F E."

Ok, I put one penny down. Do you smell anything?

1 scent.

I put two pennies down. Do you see any fruit?

2 pears.

I put three pennies down. Do you see any law enforcement?

3 coppers.

I put four pennies down. Do you see any cars?

4 Lincolns.

I put five pennies down. Do you see any pussies?

NOT FOR 5 CENTS YOU DONT!

Yo mama is so fat that when I was printing a picture of her last year, it's still printing.

Can you imagine the last thing that went through the minds of 9/11 victims?

Well, probably the person in front of them.

What do you call a virgin lying on a waterbed?

A cherry float.